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Logan.WS / Quotes / Chris Rock Quotes

Chris Rock Quotes

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500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Chris Rock
Chris Rock Quotes are from the funny comedian Chris Rock who is known for his stand up comedy and being in and the voice in a bunch of movies like The Longest Yard, Dogma, I Think I Love My Wife, and Lethal Weapon 4. Chris was also on Saturday Night Live for a little while.

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Chris Rock: ... I ain't scared of al-Qaeda, I'm scared of al-Cracka ...
From Never Scared
Also See: Scary Quotes

Chris Rock: ... you can have fun and have a family too ...
David Spade: ... what, nobody told me that ...
From Howard Stern Show on June 21, 2010
Also See: Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes

Anthony Hopkins (Officer Oakes): ... welcome to Prague ...
Chris Rock (Jake Hayes): ... looks like Newark ...
From Bad Company
Also See: Movie Quotes

Chris Rock: ... the reason coke and weed are illegal in America because the best coke and weed ain't made in America ...
From Never Scared
Also See: Best Quotes Drug Quotes

Chris Rock (Chaka Luther King): ... man, this movie is going to make House Party, look like House Party 2 ...
From Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Also See: Movie Quotes

Chris Rock: ... you got a twin sister?
Gisele Bündchen: ... yes ...
Jay Leno: ... Chris, this solves our problem ...
From The Tonight Show
Also See: Family Quotes Sister Quotes Talk Show Quotes

Chris Rock: ... everyone loves white women, except white women ... white women are the majority of the country, and they have had the right to vote for almost 100 years, and still they've never elected a white woman president ... what are you bitches waiting for?
From SNL (Saturday Night Live) on March 17, 2007
Also See: Love Quotes

Chris Rock (Joey): ... what are you like a a 3rd degree black belt?
Chris Farley (Haru): ... the blackness of my belt is like the inside of a coffin on a moonless night ...
Chris Rock: ... that is pretty black, man ...
From Beverly Hills Ninja
Also See: Movie Quotes

Chris Rock: ... they need to change the name of that show from Desperate Housewives to ungrateful bitches ...
From Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger - London, New York, Johannesburg

Chris Rock: ... if Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah money, he would jump out the ****ing window ...
From Never Scared
Also See: Oprah Winfrey Quotes

Chris Rock: ... more people saw Tupac get shot than the last episode of Seinfeld ...
From Unknown

Chris Rock (Caretaker): ... I'm a Star Jones man myself, I love that big bitch ...
From The Longest Yard
Also See: Love Quotes Movie Quotes

Chris Rock: ... only the good rappers are dead, only the good ones ... Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive ...
From Unknown
Also See: Death Quotes Music Quotes

Chris Rock: ... if you haven't contemplated murder, you haven't been in love ...
From Never Scared
Also See: Death Quotes Love Quotes

Adam Sandler (Paul Crewe): ... you play football?
Chris Rock (Caretaker): ... man, I'm so bad at sports, they used to pick me after the white kids ...
From The Longest Yard
Also See: Football Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes

Chris Rock: ... you are around pretty girls in every movie ...
Robin Quivers: ... not a [Adam] Sandler movie ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 14, 2007
Also See: Adam Sandler Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes

Chris Rock: ... we got too much food in America, too, much, food ... what do you mean red meat will kill you? ... people are starving all over the world, what do you mean red meat will kill you? ... no no no, don't eat no red meat? ... no, don't eat no green meat ...
From Unknown
Also See: Death Quotes Food Quotes

Howard Stern: ... it could be the end of the movies for you ...
Chris Rock: ... there is always black guy and [Adam] Sandler movie ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 14, 2007
Also See: Adam Sandler Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes

George Carlin (Cardinal Ignatius Glick): ... hook them while their young ...
Chris Rock (Rufus): ... like the tobaco companies?
George Carlin: ... if only we had their numbers ...
From Dogma
Also See: Movie Quotes

Big Prisoner: ... will you teach me how to play football?
Chris Rock (Caretaker): ... I will do whatever you want, just don't eat me ...
From The Longest Yard
Also See: Football Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes

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Mother Movies Music MySpace
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Quoted People:
Adam Sandler Artie Lange Brad Pitt Catman Cohen
Chris Farley Chris Rock Christian Bale Dane Cook
Daniel Tosh David Spade Ellen Pompeo Emo Philips
Evan Esar Heath Ledger Homer Simpson Howard Stern
Johnny Depp Kristen Stewart Lisa Lampanelli
 Martin Luther King, Jr
Matt LeBlanc Mitch Hedberg Oprah Winfrey Paris Hilton
Rachael Ray Sandra Oh Steven Wright Stewie Griffin
Tracy Morgan Vince Vaughn Will Ferrell Will Smith
 William Shakespeare

Quote Sources:
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Black Sheep Blues Brothers Crossword Puzzles
 Dane Cook's Harmful If Swallowed
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 Everybody Loves Raymond
Family Guy
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 The Godfather
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Grey's Anatomy Harry Potter
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The Notebook Old School
One Tree Hill PCU
 Pirates of the Caribbean
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500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Funny and Memorable Quotes:
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