| Dane Cook: |
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... it really drives me banana sangwich ... |
| From Comedy Central Bar Mitzvah Bash
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| Also See: Food Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... every guy here would love to have a monkey ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Also See: Love Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I'm dating a younger sexier crowd ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Also See: Relationship Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... when you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I can't wait to get Nick's [DiPaolo's] new comedy album, its called stop me if you heard this in junior high school ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Harmful If Swallowed Quotes School Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Denis, let me ask you a question, seriously seeing all these great comedians here tonight, it reminds me of a philosophical question, if I may propose this, if a comic tells a joke, and no one is there to hear it, is Nick DiPaolo on stage? |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Dane Cook: |
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... sometimes I like a dancing plethora of cheese in my mouth, and then other times I am into a more solo cheese adventure, just a single one on one, me and one cheese ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Also See: Food Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Colin Quinn ladies and gentlemen, Colin Quinn ... Colin, you started off your career on the game show Remote Control, isn't it, yeah ... yeah, isn't it, isn't it ironic that that's what most of America reaches for when your new show is on ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Harmful If Swallowed Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... lot of Boston guys here tonight, Denis [Leary], we've got Lenny Clarke, we've got Nick [DiPaolo], Mario [Cantone], who knew Red Sox's curse affected comedians' careers ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Baseball Quotes Boston Red Sox Quotes Harmful If Swallowed Quotes Sports Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... when you don't have love, it is like there's a party going on and everybody was invited except for you ... and you just happen to walk by that house in the rain ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Also See: Love Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Kiefer Sutherland, how you doing, how you doing, good to see you ... I've got a, I've got a great plot idea for your show this coming season, you've got 24 hours to resurrect your film career ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Harmful If Swallowed Quotes Movie Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... that Dane Cook is a silly bitch ... |
| From Dane Cook: Rough Around the Edges at MSG
on November 18, 2007
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| Also See: Comedy Central Bar Mitzvah Bash Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Burger King, or the BK Lounge as I like to call it ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... so Johnny tamborine is walking down the street ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I don't like it when you open your mouth and its like a battle of epic proportions going on ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorate cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I'm fine, I am just going to go over here and puke shards of my own pelvis into this bush ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... has anyone seen my shoes? I kicked them off in a fit of joy ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Also See: Comedy Central Bar Mitzvah Bash Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... he got the not a good time to cross signal ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... when you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, "I guess not" ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Dane Cook: |
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... let's do this ... I'm a cashew ... |
| From Retaliation
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| Also See: Food Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... he was hit by a Dodge ... which I found funny and ironic ... |
| From Retaliation
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