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Logan.WS / Quotes / Howard Stern Quotes

Howard Stern Quotes



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Funny and Memorable Quotes
500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Howard Stern
Howard Stern, or the King of All Media, is the controversial shock jock of the Howard Stern Show now on Sirius Satellite Radio.





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Howard Stern: ... what's with this you never having a drink?
Dane Cook: ... I look at Artie and feel he is me in another dimension ...
From Howard Stern Show on November 4, 2009
 
Also See: Artie Lange Quotes Drug Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... they're thinking of putting him [Patrick Swayze] in Ghost 2, but this time he'll really be dead ...
From Howard Stern Show on January 7, 2008
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes Scary Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... Brad Pitt doesn't have a brain in his head ...
Robin Quivers: ... now stop that, Brad Pitt is building a smart New Orleans ...
Howard Stern: ... what?
Artie Lange: ... was the old one dumb?
From Howard Stern Show on October 1, 2007
 
Also See: Brad Pitt Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... that's weird that Batman [Christian Bale] is in Terminator ....
From Howard Stern Show on March 4, 2009
 
Also See: Christian Bale Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... why don't they just get that Hubble Telescope and aim it at Megan Fox's window so we can take a peek ...
From Howard Stern Show on May 12, 2009
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... if they made Megan Fox the Bachelorette, that would be the biggest show ever ...
From Howard Stern Show on February 25, 2009
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Stewie Griffin: ... I say, did anyone listen to Howard Stern this morning, he had some strippers in the studio, they sounded hot, then he made a joke about a negro, but Robin laughed so it was ok ...
From Family Guy
 
Also See: Howard Stern Show Quotes Robin Quivers Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... can you [Hugh Jackman] drop that phony accent and talk like an American?
From Howard Stern Show on April 29, 2009
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... [Passover] it's basically Easter without Jesus ...
From Howard Stern Show on April 8, 2009
 
Also See: Easter Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Robin Quivers: ... Britney spears has lost custody of her children ...
Howard Stern: ... you know how bad a mother you have to be to lose custody of your children ... OJ has custody of his children ...
From Howard Stern Show on October 2, 2007
 
Also See: Family Quotes Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... he [John Lennon] would be great on Dancing with the Stars ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 18, 2008
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... don't make heroes out of warlocks [like Harry Potter] ...
From Howard Stern Show on July 19, 2007
 
Also See: Harry Potter Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... Christian Bale, he should have been Bob Dylan with a Batman mask on him ...
From Howard Stern Show on November 26, 2007
 
Also See: Batman Quotes Christian Bale Quotes Music Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I wish Brad Pitt would dump me for Angelina Jolie [like Jennifer Aniston was] ...
Robin Quivers: ... please dump me ...
Howard Stern: ... you know how many radios we would sell ...
From Howard Stern Show on November 19, 2008
 
Also See: Brad Pitt Quotes Relationship Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... every relationship is based on trust until you meet someone new ...
From Howard Stern Show on April 16, 2007
 
Also See: Relationship Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... Oprah was on the treadmill ...
Robin Quivers: ... she must have been sitting on the treadmill ...
From Howard Stern Show on November 19, 2008
 
Also See: Oprah Winfrey Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Conan O'Brien: ... you [Howard Stern] are like the Ralph Nader of testicular shocking devices ...
From Late Night with Conan O'Brien
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I can't believe I feel bad for Madonna ...
Joan Rivers: ... if Madonna wants to adopt a starving black child, why doesn't she adopt Nicole Ritchie ...
From Howard Stern Show on October 24, 2006
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... you realize my next wife is being born right now ...
From Howard Stern Show on July 30, 2007
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I heard he [John McCain] still sleeps in a cage, even at home ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 10, 2008
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Kid Rock: ... I'm going to vote for John McCain or Barack Obama ...
Howard Stern: ... I heard Hilary Clinton wouldn't sleep with you which is why ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 20, 2008
 
Also See: Sex Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... if Hitler was running for chancelor of Germany, he would go on The Tonight Show ...
From Howard Stern Show on September 6, 2007
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes The Tonight Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... his [John Lennon's] MySpace would have like 28 million friends ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 18, 2008
 
Also See: Friendship Quotes MySpace Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... what kind of doctor was he [Dr Martin Luther King, Jr], a gynecologist?
Robin Quivers: ... I believe he was a doctor of psychology ...
From Howard Stern Show on January 22, 2008
 
Also See: Doctor Quotes Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I got nervous once, my kids asked me for their birthday if I would buy them Vermont ...
From Howard Stern Show on January 17, 2008
 
Also See: Birthday Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... [lose] another 15lbs, you [Robin Quivers] can get knocked up by David Spade ...
From Howard Stern Show on January 17, 2008
 
Also See: David Spade Quotes Robin Quivers Quotes Sex Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... at least Oprah got fat again, we can all enjoy that ...
From Howard Stern Show on February 7, 2008
 
Also See: Oprah Winfrey Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... give me a prediction of the final score [for Super Bowl 2008] ...
Junior Seau: ... I guarantee it will start zero zero ...
From Howard Stern Show
 
Also See: Football Quotes Sports Quotes Super Bowl Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I feel like the white Oprah ...
From Late Show with David Letterman on December 12, 2006
 
Also See: Oprah Winfrey Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Robin Quivers: ... she [Paris Hilton] says she is just acting dumb ...
Howard Stern: ... then she deserves an Academy Award ...
From Howard Stern Show on June 12, 2007
 
Also See: Paris Hilton Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... he is not commenting on the time he banged Aunt May ...
Tobey Maguire: ... yeah, I can not confirm nor deny that ...
From Howard Stern Show on May 2, 2007
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... as you leave tonight, this fine audience, like Santa Clause, like the white Oprah, I bring you Howard TV for a year, all of you will have a free subscription ...
From Late Night with Conan O'Brien
 
Also See: Christmas Quotes Holiday Quotes Oprah Winfrey Quotes Santa Claus Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I know he [Fred Thompson] is very qualified, his character on Law & Order went to Yale Law School ...
From Howard Stern Show on September 4, 2007
 
Also See: Fred Thompson Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I would do that on pay per view ... Chuck Noris vs a bear ...
From Howard Stern Show on September 23, 1999
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Artie Lange: ... I am fine now, I have never felt better in my life ...
Howard Stern: ... Chris Farley told me that ... Chris Farley told me that right before he died ...
From Howard Stern Show on January 8, 1998
 
Also See: Chris Farley Quotes Death Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Catman Cohen: We live in a society where increasingly our eco-socio-politico eductation is presented by "court jesters" such as Bill Maher, Howard Stern, Al Franken, et al. Just how low have we sunk when people require a punch line in order to examine any serious topic? It won't be long before the only requirements to become a school teacher will be a great stand-up routine and a colorful clown's wig.
From CatmanCohen.com
 

 
Howard Stern: ... Christian's beware, this Harry Potter is a sorcerer and sorcery is banned by the Christian church ...
From Howard Stern Show on July 19, 2007
 
Also See: Harry Potter Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... it could be the end of the movies for you ...
Chris Rock: ... there is always black guy and [Adam] Sandler movie ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 14, 2007
 
Also See: Adam Sandler Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... Tobey [Maguire], you should legally change your name to Spider-Man ...
From Howard Stern Show on May 2, 2007
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... I am Oprah Winfrey for men ...
From Howard Stern Show on January 11, 2007
 
Also See: Oprah Winfrey Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern: ... are you worried she [Rachael Ray] is honing in on your territory ...
Martha Stewart: ... she can not cook like I cook, she can not bake like I bake, and she can not craft like I craft ...
From Howard Stern Show on December 14, 2006
 
Also See: Rachael Ray Quotes Talk Show Quotes

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Quoted People:
Adam Sandler Artie Lange Brad Pitt Catman Cohen
Chris Farley Chris Rock Christian Bale Dane Cook
David Spade Ellen Pompeo Emo Philips Evan Esar
Heath Ledger Homer Simpson Howard Stern Kristen Stewart
Lisa Lampanelli
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Matt LeBlanc Mitch Hedberg
Oprah Winfrey Paris Hilton Rachael Ray Sandra Oh
Steven Wright Stewie Griffin Tracy Morgan Vince Vaughn
Will Ferrell Will Smith
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