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Logan.WS / Quotes / Political Quotes

Political Quotes

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Funny and Memorable Quotes
500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Political Quotes are quotes about politics, elections, presidents, democrats, and republicans.

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Mitt Romney: ... I love teachers ...
Bob Schieffer: ... I think we all love teachers ...
From Presidential Debate on October 22, 2012
Also See: Love Quotes School Quotes

Mitt Romney: ... Mr President, you're entitled as president to your own airplane and to your own house, but not to your own facts ...
From Presidential Debate on October 4, 2012

Jay Pharoah (Barack Obama): ... remember that movie, The Sixth Sense ... I'm like the kid in that movie ... I see employed people ... I know you don't see them, don't even know they're there, but one day all of you will be Bruce Willis, and you will realize you were employed all along ...
From Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update Thursday on September 27, 2012
Also See: Movie Quotes Saturday Night Live Quotes

David Letterman: ... Sunday is April Fool's Day ... that means earlier today a confused President Bush went around the White House hiding colored eggs ...
From Late Show with David Letterman
Also See: Easter Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes

Tina Fey (Liz Lemon): ... oh, speaking of Halloween, are you dressing up this year?
Alec Baldwin (Jack Donaghy): ... Lemon, its march ...
Tina Fey: ... cause I'm gonna be Mitt RomMummy, I call it, you can't steal it ...
Alec Baldwin: ... why wouldn't you be Mitt Zomney?
Tina Fey: ... cause I'm an idiot, uhh, come on Liz, think for one second before you buy all that gauze ...
From 30 Rock
Also See: Halloween Quotes Holiday Quotes Monster Quotes

Steve Buscemi (Nucky Thompson): ... first rule of politics, kid, never let the truth get in the way of a good story ...
From Boardwalk Empire

Denis Leary (Tommy Gavin): ... he's drinking again?
Lenny Clarke (Uncle Teddy): ... like a Kennedy on Election Day ...
From Rescue Me
Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes

Will Ferrell (George W Bush): ... George Bush always finds his man save for one huge exception ...
From Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update Thursday on October 23, 2008
Also See: Saturday Night Live Quotes

Daniel Tosh: ... anyone who isn't pro choice never slept with a stripper from Kansas City ...
From The Comedy Cellar on February 4, 2006
Also See: Sex Quotes

Homer Simpson: ... let me say, I have always admired the Irish, Mitt Romney, Larry Bird, and especially Mr Potato Head ...
From The Simpsons
Also See: Basketball Quotes Irish Quotes Sports Quotes

Tim McGraw (Sean Tuohy): ... I didn't think we would have a black son before knowing a Democrat ...
From The Blind Side
Also See: Family Quotes Movie Quotes

Groucho Marx: Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
From Power Quotes on August 19, 1977
Also See: Book Quotes

Barack Obama: ... in Washington, it is a little bit like American Idol, except everybody is Simon Cowell ...
From The Tonight Show on March 19, 2009
Also See: Talk Show Quotes

Tracy Morgan (Tracy Jordan): ... Jenna, we're the most important people here, right?
Jane Krakowski (Jenna Maroney): ... well ofcourse Tracy, we're actors, if we didn't exist, how would people know who to vote for?
From 30 Rock on December 4, 2008

Will Ferrell (George W. Bush): ... I come to you tonight amist a very important election between 2 very qualified candidates, the hot lady [Sarah Palin] and the Tiger Woods guy [Barack Obama] ...
From Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update Thursday on October 23, 2008
Also See: Saturday Night Live Quotes Tiger Woods Quotes

Conan O'Brien: ... you [Howard Stern] are like the Ralph Nader of testicular shocking devices ...
From Late Night with Conan O'Brien
Also See: Howard Stern Quotes Talk Show Quotes

Mario Cuomo: ... you campaign in poetry you govern in prose ...
From Crossword Puzzle on November 6, 2008

Lewis Black: ... we have a 2 party system ... the Democratic party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican party, which is a party of bad ideas ...
From Lewis Black: Black on Broadway

Conan O'Brien: ... awkward moment in Washington yesterday, the new head of the House Intelligence Committee, had an embarrassing moment yesterday, when he admitted he didn't know the difference between a Sunni and a Shi'ite ... yeah ... President Bush said, "don't feel bad, I still have trouble with Iran and Iraq" ...
From Late Night with Conan O'Brien
Also See: Talk Show Quotes

George Clooney: ... there is no way Daniel Day Lewis won't win [Best Actor at the Academy Awards for his performance in There Will Be Blood]. For me, it's like being Hillary Clinton. If it weren't for Barack Obama, it would have been a very good year ...
From Time
Also See: Movie Quotes

Thomas Mitchell (Bantam Draper): ... America's greatest president ...
David Spade (Rand): ... it's me Rand, open up ...
Thomas Mitchell: ... America's greatest president ...
David Spade: ... damnit, who is Ronald Reagan ...
Thomas Mitchell: ... a casual shoe for yachting ...
David Spade: ... what are you trying to figure BD, who could I be ... what is a bluker ...
Thomas Mitchell: ... who killed Jesus Christ ...
David Spade: ... who are the Jews, open up sucko ...
From PCU
Also See: Movie Quotes Ronald Reagan Quotes Sports Quotes Yachting Quotes

Darrell Hammond (Chris Matthews): ... but a lot of Democrats like the fact that Obama was always against the war ...
Amy Poehler (Hillary Rodham Clinton): ... Chris, let me say something about Senator Obama, for whom I have the greatest respect, he seems to take positions based on studying an issue and then following his convictions ... which is perfectly all right, but suppose he were to go to Iraq and conclude that the war was necessary after all, he might decide to support it, can we really trust someone like that?
From SNL (Saturday Night Live)
Also See: Chris Matthews Quotes

Bruce Hunter (NSA Agent): ... the way I see it, the question isn't, why should you work for the NSA, the question is why shouldn't you ...
Matt Damon (Will Hunting): ... why shouldn't I work for the NSA, that's a tough one, I'll give it a shot, say I'm working at the NSA and somebody puts a code on my desk that no one else can break, maybe I take a shot at it, maybe I break it, and I'm real happy with myself because I did my job well, but maybe that code was the location to some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East and once they have that location they bomb the village where the rebels are hiding, 1500 people that I never met, never had no problem get killed ... now the politicians are saying, oh send in the marines to secure the area because they don't give a **** ... won't be their kid over there getting shot, just like it wasn't them when their number got called 'cause they were off doing their tour in the National Guard, maybe some kid from Southy over there taking shrapnel in the ass, he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country where he just got back from and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job 'cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks, meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price, and ofcourse the oil companies use the little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two fifty a gallon, they're taking their sweet time bringing the oil back, maybe they took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes drinking martinis and playing slalom with the icebergs, it ain't too long before he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic ... so now my buddies out of work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walking to the ****ing job interviews, which sucks because the shrapnel in his ass is giving him chronic hemroids and meanwhile he's starvin because every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're serving is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State ... so what did I think ... I'm holding out for something better ... I figure **** it, while I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to a sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the national guard, I could be elected president ...
Robin Williams (Sean Maguire): ... you feel like you are alone Will?
From Good Will Hunting
Also See: Death Quotes Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Food Quotes Friendship Quotes Happy Quotes Movie Quotes

Richard Belzer (Detective John Munch): ... you must have some inner most secret ...
Ice-T (Detective Fin Tutuola): ... I'm a Republican ...
From Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (SVU)

Lisa Edelstein (Dr. Lisa Cuddy): ... where did you come from?
Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House): ... apes, if you believe the Democrats ...
From House M.D. on September 25, 2007

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Quoted People:
Adam Sandler Artie Lange Brad Pitt Catman Cohen
Chris Farley Chris Rock Christian Bale Dane Cook
Daniel Tosh David Spade Ellen Pompeo Emo Philips
Evan Esar Heath Ledger Homer Simpson Howard Stern
Johnny Depp Kristen Stewart Lisa Lampanelli
 Martin Luther King, Jr
Matt LeBlanc Mitch Hedberg Oprah Winfrey Paris Hilton
Rachael Ray Sandra Oh Steven Wright Stewie Griffin
Tracy Morgan Vince Vaughn Will Ferrell Will Smith
 William Shakespeare

Quote Sources:
 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Anchorman Bible Big Daddy
Black Sheep Blues Brothers Crossword Puzzles
 Dane Cook's Harmful If Swallowed
 Dane Cook's Retaliation
 Everybody Loves Raymond
Family Guy
Friends Game of Thrones
 The Godfather
 Good Will Hunting
Grey's Anatomy Harry Potter
 Howard Stern Show
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The Notebook Old School
One Tree Hill PCU
 Pirates of the Caribbean
 Sex and the City
Simpsons SNL Talladega Nights
Tommy Boy Tonight Show Twilight Wedding Crashers

500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Funny and Memorable Quotes:
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