| Jane Krakowski (Jenna Maroney): |
|
... I will be furious, like waking next to Rob Schneider furious ... |
| From 30 Rock
|
|
| Dane Cook (Tank): |
|
... you're what we call a 2 bagger, ok, that means that I have to wear a bag on my head just in case the one on yours breaks ... |
| From My Best Friend's Girl
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Tina Fey (Liz Lemon): |
|
... ok, fine, maybe I'm a little old fashioned, I'm sorry I'm a real woman, and not some oversexed New York nympho like these sluts on, Everybody Loves Raymond ... |
| From 30 Rock
|
| |
| Also See: Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes |
|
| Kaley Cuoco (Penny): |
|
... I'm your best friend? |
| Mayim Bialik (Amy Farrah Fowler): |
|
... don't you read my blog? |
| Kaley Cuoco: |
|
... oh, don't feel bad, I never read Leonard's and I used to sleep with him ... |
| From The Big Bang Theory
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes Friendship Quotes |
|
| Jason Segel (Jason): |
|
... you got to know all the tricks, like for example, if the woman is on top, she can't get pregnant, its just gravity ... |
| Jonah Hill (Johah): |
|
... well, that's true, eveybody knows that ... |
| Jason Segel: |
|
... what goes up must come down ... |
| From Knocked Up
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Pregnant Quotes |
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... you did Roseanne and Kelly Preston? |
| George Clooney: |
|
... I don't want to brag ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on March 20, 1998
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Charlie Sheen (Charlie Harper): |
|
... you're like an Alzheimer's victim in a whore house ... you're constantly surprised that you've been screwed ... and you don't want to pay for it ... |
| From Two and a Half Men
|
|
| Norm MacDonald (Frank): |
|
... hey Billy, who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson? |
| Adam Sandler (Billy Madison): |
|
... Jack Nicholson today or 1974? |
| Norm MacDonald: |
|
... 1974 ... |
| Adam Sandler: |
|
... Meg Ryan ... |
| From Billy Madison
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Leslie Nielsen (Det. Lt. Frank Drebin): |
|
... Lickman Street, that's the red light district, wonder why Sevat is hanging out down there? |
| George Kennedy (Det. Captain Ed Hocken): |
|
... sex, Frank? |
| Leslie Nielsen: |
|
... uhhhhh, no, not right now, Ed, we got work to do ... |
| From The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Lisa Lampanelli: |
|
... usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping ... |
| From Lisa Lampanelli: Dirty Girl
|
|
| Daniel Tosh: |
|
... anyone who isn't pro choice never slept with a stripper from Kansas City ... |
| From The Comedy Cellar
on February 4, 2006
|
| |
| Also See: Political Quotes |
|
| Eric Dane (Dr. Mark Sloan): |
|
... the most refined, professional, lady like doctor in this hospital came to my defense today ... best she could come up with was, he's a whore ... I am a whore ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on May 8, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes Doctor Quotes |
|
| Ashley Dupre: |
|
... sex sex sex, it is the key to a man's heart ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
|
| |
| Also See: Love Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| James Lafferty (Nathan Scott): |
|
... I'm still trying to figure out how I ended up with such a talented wife ... |
| Bethany Joy Galeotti (Haley James Scott): |
|
... yeah, you just got lucky ... |
| James Lafferty: |
|
... no, getting lucky is how I got a son ... |
| From One Tree Hill
on January 19, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes |
|
| David Letterman: |
|
... I think sex on the first date is ... |
| Jessica Alba: |
|
... fine ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... fine, you said that sort of unenthusiastically ... like ... fine, like getting a good parking place ... |
| Jessica Alba: |
|
... sometimes a good parking place is better ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
|
| |
| Also See: Relationship Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Rodney Dangerfield: |
|
... when I met my wife I wanted sex in the worst way and I got it ... |
| From Mad TV
|
| |
| Also See: Relationship Quotes |
|
| Austin Nichols (Julian): |
|
... that was amazing, no wonder you were so popular in high school ... |
| Sophia Bush (Brooke Davis): |
|
... excuse me, sex didn't help make me popular, I made it become popular ... |
| From One Tree Hill
on February 2, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: School Quotes |
|
| Sacha Baron Cohen: |
|
... but this recession is affecting everone, even celebrities ... Victoria Beckham hasn't eaten for 3 weeks ... Charlie Sheen has been forced to have sex without paying for it ... it's true ... and even Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants ... our thoughts go out to you Guy Ritchie ... |
| From The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards
on January 11, 2009
|
|
| Chuck Liddell (The Iceman): |
|
... only thing each of you has to decide is how you want to die ... |
| Kal Penn (Z-Bob): |
|
... uh, I'll take overdosing on Viagra with teenage nymphos when I'm 90 please ... |
| Chuck Liddell: |
|
... not one of your options ... |
| From Bachelor Party Vegas
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Luke Wilson (Mitch Martin): |
|
... true love is hard to find ... sometimes you think you have true love and then you take the early flight home from, San Diego, and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a God damn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend ... |
| From Old School
|
| |
| Also See: Love Quotes Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes |
|
| James Van Der Beek (Dixon): |
|
... ok, I know what you guys are thinking ... gotta get fast food, beer, and getting laid ... |
| Chad Michael Murray (Lucas Scott): |
|
... well, that was pretty much what I was thinking ... |
| Austin Nichols (Julian): |
|
... it is like he read my mind ... |
| From One Tree Hill
on January 19, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Drug Quotes Food Quotes |
|
| Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: |
|
Segregation is the offspring of an illicit intercourse between injustice and immorality. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes |
|
| Vince Vaughn (Bernard Campbell): |
|
... you should be proud of yourself, you have any idea how hard it is to land yourself a girl as sexually enlightened as Heidi is ... a girl like that comes around, what, every 100 years ... |
| Luke Wilson (Mitch Martin): |
|
... I wasn't looking for a girl like that ... |
| Vince Vaughn: |
|
... Columbus wasn't looking for America, my man, but that seemed to work out perfectly, didn't it ... |
| From Old School
|
| |
| Also See: History Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| David Boreanaz (Special Agent Booth): |
|
... when you turn someone into an object of sexual pleasure, it's wrong ... |
| Emily Deschanel (Dr. Bones Brennan): |
|
... how do you know? |
| David Boreanaz: |
|
... it says in the bible ... |
| Emily Deschanel: |
|
... it does not ... |
| David Boreanaz: |
|
... then it got left out by mistake ... |
| From Bones
|
| |
| Also See: Bible Quotes |
|
| Robert De Niro (Chief Sunday): |
|
... remember, one night stands might be over in the morning, but Syphilis lasts a lifetime ... |
| From Men of Honor
|
| |
| Also See: Life Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Rob Schneider (Townie): |
|
... you can do it ... you can do it all, night, long ... |
| From The Waterboy
|
| |
| Also See: Famous Quotes Inspirational Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Kim Cattrall (Samantha Jones): |
|
... money is power, sex is power, therefore getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power ... |
| From Sex and the City
|
|
| Christina Applegate (Veronica Corningstone): |
|
... I am good at 3 things, fighting, screwing, and reading the news, now I have already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be? |
| Fred Willard (Ed Harken): |
|
... screwing? |
| From Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): |
|
... if Tyra Banks drove her car over my Mom and then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off ... |
| From Scrubs
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Mother Quotes |
|
| Seann William Scott (E.L.): |
|
... every time you pass up sex, you are cheating on yourself ... |
| From Road Trip
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes |
|
| Vince Vaughn (Jeremy Grey): |
|
... sailing is like sex to these people ... |
| From Wedding Crashers
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Minnie Driver (Skylar): |
|
... where did you get this [the answers to the homework]? |
| Matt Damon (Will Hunting): |
|
... I had to sleep with someone in your class ... |
| Matt Damon: |
|
... I hope it was someone with open toed sandals and really bad breath ... |
| From Good Will Hunting
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Cynthia Nixon (Miranda Hobbes): |
|
... Steve, I can't have sex with you anymore, I have a brain ... |
| From Sex and the City
|
|
| Harvey Keitel (Lt. Gene Hunt): |
|
... you're here to make me curse the day my Father's sperm asked my Mama's egg if he could have this dance ... |
| From Life on Mars
on October 9, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Mother Quotes |
|
| Kid Rock: |
|
... I'm going to vote for John McCain or Barack Obama ... |
| Howard Stern: |
|
... I heard Hilary Clinton wouldn't sleep with you which is why ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on March 20, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Jon Cryer (Alan Harper): |
|
... you think I joined a support group to pick up women? |
| Charlie Sheen (Charlie Harper): |
|
... no, I think you joined a support group because you are a winy little wuss ... but as long as you are there you might as well nail a few ... |
| From Two and a Half Men
|
|
| Ryan Reynolds (Monty): |
|
... see the way I see it, with chicks, there's really only 2 possible things that can happen, either they won't sleep with you, and there's really no need to ever call them again, or they do sleep with you, and there's really no need to ever call them again ... |
| From Waiting ...
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Lisa Edelstein (Dr. Lisa Cuddy): |
|
... have you even interviewed anybody? |
| Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House): |
|
... you test drive a car before you buy it, you have sex before you get married, I can't hire a team based on a 10 minute interview ... what if I don't like having sex with them? |
| From House M.D.
on September 25, 2007
|
|
| Sara Ramirez (Dr. Callie Torres): |
|
... anyone ever think you two a, couple? |
| Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey): |
|
... no, because we screw boys like whores on tequila ... |
| Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang): |
|
... then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves ... |
| Sara Ramirez: |
|
... huh ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on May 1, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Drug Quotes Relationship Quotes |
|
| Nancy Walls (Health Clinic Counselor): |
|
... now you're all here because you're interested in obtaining birth control, any questions? |
| David Koechner (Dad at Health Clinic): |
|
... here's a cute story, I came home the other day, and he [the son] is with his girlfriend in my matrimonial bed, doing things that are illegal in Alabamba, sex acts, right, things that my wife won't do, ok? |
| Nancy Walls: |
|
... did you have a question? |
| David Koechner: |
|
... how do I get my wife to do that? |
| From The 40 Year Old Virgin
|
| |
| Also See: Cute Quotes Drug Quotes Family Quotes Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes |
|
| Tracy Morgan (Tracy Jordan): |
|
... JS ... |
| Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld): |
|
... ah, Tracy ... |
| Tracy Morgan: |
|
... what's up ... Miss Lemon, me and this dude used to do stand up together, remember that night we had the 3-way with Elayne Boosler? |
| Jerry Seinfeld: |
|
... I don't think that was me ... |
| Tracy Morgan: |
|
... oh yeah, you know what, I think that was a mirror ... |
| From 30 Rock
|
|
| Kim Cattrall (Samantha Jones): |
|
... what do you have against honeymoons, it is basically sex with room service ... |
| From Sex and the City
|
| |
| Also See: Wedding Quotes |
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... [lose] another 15lbs, you [Robin Quivers] can get knocked up by David Spade ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on January 17, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: David Spade Quotes Robin Quivers Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... I like the mocha cappuccino orgasm myself ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on October 25, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Jamie Foxx: |
|
... know what I have learned, as soon as you don't sleep with your pretty girl friends, you will always have pretty girl friends ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on September 25, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Friendship Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie Bradshaw): |
|
... the closest Charlotte had ever come to getting screwed on a plane was the time she lost all of her luggage on a flight to Palm Beach ... |
| From Sex and the City
|
|
| Dane Cook (Charlie Logan): |
|
... what's sex without love? |
| Dan Fogler (Stu Kaminsky): |
|
... sex ... it's still sex! |
| From Good Luck Chuck
|
| |
| Also See: Love Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Greg Giraldo: |
|
... I got a Valentine's Day card from my Grandmother, how ridiculous is that ... we stopped having sex years ago ... |
| From Unknown
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Holiday Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... how about kids ... you want, you want kids? |
| Dane Cook: |
|
... do I want to have kids ... ah, I want to have sex ... if that's the excuse, sure ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on October 25, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Matthew Perry (Leslie Edwards): |
|
... have you ever been in love Mr Hunt? |
| Chris Farley (Bartholomew Hunt): |
|
... oooh, I've had my hand under a peticoat or two, haaaaa ... |
| Matthew Perry: |
|
... good Lord, must you or the others reduce everything to its crudest terms? |
| Chris Farley: |
|
... oh, I thought I cleaned it up rather nicely for ya ... |
| From Almost Heroes
|
| |
| Also See: Love Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Justin Chambers: |
|
... it's [Grey's Anatomy's] huge, it's diverse, we've got, you know, great drama because it is about, life and death and ... sex ... |
| Rachael Ray: |
|
... lotta sex ... |
| From Rachael Ray Show
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Grey's Anatomy Quotes Life Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat): |
|
... I like sex ... it's nice ... |
| From Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Jeremy Piven (Droz): |
|
... allright, what do you need, bottle rockets, dental damn, redi whip, term papers ... |
| From PCU
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Movie Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Catman Cohen: |
|
Being old and wrinkled in the music biz today makes you as popular as a leper with AIDS attending an orgy. |
| From CatmanCohen.com
|
| |
| Also See: Music Quotes |
|
| Jeremy Piven (Droz): |
|
... times have changed in the past 30 years, Tho-mas, we no longer swill sherry and screw goats for fun anymore ... |
| From PCU
|
| |
| Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Matt Damon (Will Hunting): |
|
... yeah, I was hoping to get a good night laid ... but I will settle for a kiss ... |
| Minnie Driver (Skylar): |
|
... that is very noble of you ... |
| From Good Will Hunting
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Jerry Seinfeld: |
|
... people don't just bump into each other and have sex, this isn't Cinemax ... |
| From Seinfeld
|
|
| Will Ferrell (Steve Butabi): |
|
... the truth is, I'm a rebel and you're like this sweet girl next door type ... |
| Molly Shannon (Emily Sanderson): |
|
... Steve, you are forgetting, I'm in college, I go to college, ok? ... translation, drunken orgies with occasional CliffsNotes ... |
| From A Night at the Roxbury
|
| |
| Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Movie Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Nurse: |
|
... you ever have unprotected sex? |
| Sarah Silverman: |
|
... uhh, is there any other kind? |
| From The Sarah Silverman Program
|
|
| Jennifer Aniston (Rachel): |
|
... it's unisex ... |
| Matt LeBlanc (Joey): |
|
... maybe you need sex, but I just had sex last night ... |
| Jennifer Aniston: |
|
... no, U N I sex ... |
| Matt LeBlanc: |
|
... how YOU doing ... |
| From Friends
|
|
| John O'Hurley (Mr. Peterman): |
|
... who hasn't snuck into the break room for a love newton ... |
| From Seinfeld
|
|
| Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson): |
|
... it is Patty that chose the life of celebisy, Selma had it thrust upon her ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Life Quotes Marge Simpson Quotes |
|
| Steve Martin: |
|
... hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman ... it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town ... |
| From 2001 Academy Awards Show (73rd Oscars)
|
| |
| Also See: Love Quotes |
