| Jimmy Kimmel: |
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... will you be blowing out the ah, the candles on the turkey tomorrow, how will it work? |
| Peter Facinelli: |
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... ah, I'll tell you how it works, ah every 6 or 7 years my birthday falls on thanksgiving, which was really great when I was growing up because ah, the whole family is over so that they were all forced to give me gifts ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
on November 25, 2009
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| Also See: Birthday Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
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| David Letterman: |
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... Thanksgiving is the day when ... my mom, after six Bloody Marys, looks at the turkey and goes: "Here kitty, kitty" ... |
| From Uncle John's Quintessential Collection of Notable Quotations: For Every Occasion
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| Also See: Book Quotes Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Family Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
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| Roseanne: |
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... nobody should be alone on Thanksgiving, except maybe Mom ... |
| From Roseanne
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| Also See: Family Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes |
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| John Caponera: |
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... who knew the pilgrims liked football so much ... |
| From Comedy Time
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| Also See: Football Quotes Holiday Quotes Sports Quotes |
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| Ellen DeGeneres: |
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... I've never spent Vegas in, in for Thanksgiving, but I hear it's beautiful because all the hookers put their pumpkins out ... |
| From Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show
on November 21, 2008
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| Also See: Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
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| Jon Stewart: |
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... I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way ... I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land ... |
| From Unknown
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| Also See: Death Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes |
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| Roseanne: |
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... I'll get you more beer Dan, after all it is Thanksgiving, the day where I do everything and the rest of you sit around like Plymouth Rock ... |
| From Roseanne
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| Also See: Drug Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes |
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| Jim Gaffigan: |
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... Thanksgiving, it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition, the tradition is we over eat ... |
| From Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale
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| Sarah Chalke (Becky): |
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... for once we can have a Thanksgiving where you don't have to yell and scream at everybody ... |
| Roseanne (Roseanne): |
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... well, gee, you might as well take the carols right out of Christmas ... |
| From Roseanne
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| Also See: Christmas Quotes Holiday Quotes Music Quotes |
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| Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): |
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... ooh, you got the bigger half [of the wishbone], what did you wish for? |
| Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): |
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... the bigger half ... |
| From Friends
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| Also See: Food Quotes Holiday Quotes |
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| Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): |
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... where's that turkey? |
| Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): |
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... hey, those are my maturnity pants ... |
| Matt LeBlanc: |
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... nah nah, these are my Thanksgiving pants ... |
| From Friends
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| Also See: Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Pregnant Quotes |
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| Jack Handey: |
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... I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey ... Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey ... we had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine ... later on I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom to thank them and I caught them eating a little turkey ... I guess that really wasn't the best Thanksgiving ... |
| From SNL (Saturday Night Live)
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| Also See: Best Quotes Family Quotes Father Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes |
