| Brian Baumgartner (Eric): |
|
... you lie to your families on Christmas? |
| Vince Vaughn (Brad): |
|
... well you really can't spell families without lies ... |
| From Four Christmases
|
| |
| Also See: Christmas Quotes Holiday Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... what does your dad do? |
| Natalie Portman: |
|
... my dad's an infertility specialist ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... oh is that right? |
| Natalie Portman: |
|
... yeah ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... well he can't be that good, you're here ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on February 22, 2996
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Pregnant Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Norm MacDonald (Frank): |
|
... when I graduated first grade all my father did for me was, tell me to get a job ... |
| From Billy Madison
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Graduation Quotes Movie Quotes School Quotes |
|
| David Letterman: |
|
... Thanksgiving is the day when ... my mom, after six Bloody Marys, looks at the turkey and goes: "Here kitty, kitty" ... |
| From Uncle John's Quintessential Collection of Notable Quotations: For Every Occasion
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook (Zack): |
|
... you know what they say Vince, it ain't over till your mama sings ... |
| From Employee of the Month
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes Movie Quotes Music Quotes |
|
| Chris Rock: |
|
... you can have fun and have a family too ... |
| David Spade: |
|
... what, nobody told me that ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on June 21, 2010
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Marlon Brando (Don Vito Corleone): |
|
... a man who doesn't spend time with his family cannot be a real man ... |
| From The Godfather
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Kevin James (Larry Valentine): |
|
... we're marrying each other ... |
| Rob Schneider (Asian Minister): |
|
... gay, civil or religious? |
| Adam Sandler (Chuck Levine): |
|
... religious ... I'm Jewish, I don't want to piss my mother off ... |
| Kevin James: |
|
... I'm Catholic, I don't want to piss Mel Gibson off ... |
| From I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes Movie Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Bill Murray (Phil): |
|
... it's the same thing your whole life ... clean up your room, stand up straight, pick up your feet, take it like a man, be nice to your sister, don't mix beer and wine, ever ... oh yeah, don't drive on the railroad tracks ... |
| Rick Ducommun (Gus): |
|
... Phil, that's one I happen to agree with ... |
| From Groundhog Day
|
| |
| Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Life Quotes Movie Quotes Sister Quotes |
|
| Craig Ferguson: |
|
... my Father's mother was Irish, so I feel that St Patrick's Day is a day that I can ignore ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Holiday Quotes Irish Quotes Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Will Smith (Del Spooner): |
|
... you're a shrink ... my ex wife would be glad I am talking to you ... you don't know her do you? |
| Bridget Moynahan (Susan Calvin): |
|
... I'm sorry, are you being funny? |
| Will Smith: |
|
... I guess not ... |
| From I, Robot
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes Happy Quotes Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes |
|
| James Lafferty (Nathan Scott): |
|
... I'm still trying to figure out how I ended up with such a talented wife ... |
| Bethany Joy Galeotti (Haley James Scott): |
|
... yeah, you just got lucky ... |
| James Lafferty: |
|
... no, getting lucky is how I got a son ... |
| From One Tree Hill
on January 19, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Sex Quotes |
|
| Naomi Watts: |
|
... [having 2 children] I feel like I have lost a good 75% of my brain power ... and really, I'm not joking ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... 75% ... |
| Naomi Watts: |
|
... I say it halves itself and halved itself again, it is, I call it, it's not just the sleep deprivation, it is the breast feeding, I call it the lactose lobotomy ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on February 9, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Tim McGraw (Sean Tuohy): |
|
... I didn't think we would have a black son before knowing a Democrat ... |
| From The Blind Side
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Political Quotes |
|
| Roseanne: |
|
... nobody should be alone on Thanksgiving, except maybe Mom ... |
| From Roseanne
|
| |
| Also See: Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... well you're Jewish ... |
| Eli Roth: |
|
... yes ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... it must have been a thrill, what did your parents think about [being in Inglorious Bastards]? |
| Eli Roth: |
|
... uh, well my parents, my parents were very proud, they always see their boy grow up to kill Nazis, is something they always dreamed of ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Father Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Al Pacino (Michael Corleone): |
|
... come on, you think I'd make my sister a widow? |
| From The Godfather
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes Sister Quotes |
|
| Matt LeBlanc (Vinnie Verducci): |
|
... my family believes, say it with words ... |
| From Married with Children
|
|
| Craig Ferguson: |
|
... in my wedding, they a, well in my wife's wedding, that I was allowed to go to ... |
| From The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Olivia Thirlby (Leah): |
|
... you should look at adoption ads, I see them all the time in the PennySaver ... |
| Ellen Page (Juno MacGuff): |
|
... they have ads for parents? |
| Olivia Thirlby: |
|
... yea-ha, desperately seeking spawn, right next to like terriers, and iguanas, and used fitness equipment and stuff, its like totally legit ... |
| From Juno
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Chris Pine: |
|
... [my dad Robert Pine] he slapped Mr Shatner on the shoulder and said, "Hello son," which I think Shatner just gave him a look ... the death stare or something ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... yeah yeah ... |
| Chris Pine: |
|
... yeah, I don't think that worked out all that well, no ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... he was lucky he didn't get hit with a Phasor ... |
| Chris Pine: |
|
... yeah, right ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... well, so Dad didn't exactly help things is what you're saying ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Father Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you know the day I met my mother, I weighed 7 and 1/2 lbs ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... you gained a little weight since then ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... since I met my mother, I have put on 293 and 1/2 lbs ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on March 3, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Kal Penn (Gogol): |
|
... this is America, Ma, people have twins when they're 60 ... |
| From The Namesake
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Don Cheadle: |
|
... the Coen brothers are at it again, writing and directing an original comic masterpiece [Burn After Reading] that focuses on very ordinary and very dumb people, Brad, Pitt ... |
| From The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards
on January 11, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Brad Pitt Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Bob Saget: |
|
... I did so much family television that I have tourettes now ... |
| From Bob Saget: That Ain't Right
|
|
| Vince Vaughn (Jeremy Grey): |
|
... rule #32, you don't commit to a relative unless you are absolutely positive they have a pulse ... |
| From Wedding Crashers
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Peter Griffin: |
|
... I heard you ran into my identical twin at the ballgame yesterday ... and if you don't buy that, I am sorry for going to the game yesterday ... |
| From Family Guy
|
| |
| Also See: Baseball Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Dennis Quaid (Doc Holiday): |
|
... my Mama always said don't put off til tomorrow who you can kill today ... |
| From Wyatt Earp
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Kate Hudson (Alexis): |
|
... my parents hate you ... |
| Dane Cook (Tank): |
|
... but, they'll come around ... except your mother ... and your dad ... |
| From My Best Friend's Girl
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Robin Quivers: |
|
... Britney spears has lost custody of her children ... |
| Howard Stern: |
|
... you know how bad a mother you have to be to lose custody of your children ... OJ has custody of his children ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on October 2, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Brendan Behan: |
|
All Ireland is washed by the Gulf Stream, except my wife's family. |
| From The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Irish Quotes |
|
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... we're gonna be rich, we'll finally be able to start a family ... |
| Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson): |
|
... we have a family ... |
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... a better one ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Marge Simpson Quotes |
|
| Alec Baldwin: |
|
... you ... are way hotter in person ... |
| Sarah Palin: |
|
... why thank you ... |
| Alec Baldwin: |
|
... I mean seriously, I mean I can't believe they let her [Tina Fey], you know, play, you ... |
| Sarah Palin: |
|
... thank you, and I must say that your brother Stephen is my favorite Baldwin brother ... |
| From SNL (Saturday Night Live)
on October 18, 2008
|
|
| Deanna Russo (Sarah Graiman): |
|
... Mike and I are just friends ... |
| Bruce Davison (Charles Graiman): |
|
... friends, that what they calling it these days? |
| Deanna Russo: |
|
... Dad, eww ... |
| From Knight Rider
on December 31, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Friendship Quotes |
|
| Heath Ledger (The Joker): |
|
... you remind me of my father ... I hated my father ... |
| From The Dark Knight
|
| |
| Also See: Batman Quotes Father Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Ed O'Neill (Al Bundy): |
|
... I hate my life ... can't eat, can't sleep, can't burry the wife in the backyard ... |
| From Married with Children
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Life Quotes |
|
| Chris Rock: |
|
... you got a twin sister? |
| Gisele Bündchen: |
|
... yes ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... Chris, this solves our problem ... |
| From The Tonight Show
|
| |
| Also See: Sister Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Tina Fey (Liz Lemon): |
|
... Floyd's moving on, I'm moving on too, I'm just doing it in my own order, I'm gonna get the wedding dress, and then I'm gonna have a baby, and then I'm gonna die, and then I'm gonna meet a super cute guy in heaven ... |
| From 30 Rock
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Relationship Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Al Pacino (Michael Corleone): |
|
... that's my family Kate, not me ... |
| From The Godfather
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... like Redd Foxx you dropped one of the X's ... |
| Megan Fox: |
|
... I didn't, my dad did, I know ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
...why would he do that? |
| Megan Fox: |
|
... I don't know ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... wow, you should have 3 X's on yours though ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
on June 7, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Olin Miller: |
|
... exceptions prove the rule and break the family budget ... |
| From Crossword Puzzle
on October 2, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: 20,000 Quips & Quotes Quotes |
|
| Ray Romano (Ray Barone): |
|
... we don't need classes, we are great parents, ok you are a great parent and I am your lovely assistant ... |
| From Everybody Loves Raymond
|
| |
| Also See: School Quotes |
|
| Mitch Hedberg: |
|
... when I was a boy I laid in my twin size bed and wondered where my brother was ... |
| From Mitch All Together
|
|
| Rita Rudner: |
|
... relationships, they don't last anymore, you know, when I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is, is this the man I want my childen to spend their weekends with ... |
| From Women of the Night
|
| |
| Also See: Relationship Quotes |
|
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... Mom and Dad's lives could be in jeopardy, or worse, their marriage ... |
| Spencer Fox (Dash Parr): |
|
... their marriage ... so, the bad guys are trying to wreck Mom and Dad's marriage? |
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... oh forget it, you're so immature ... |
| From The Incredibles
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Life Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): |
|
... if Tyra Banks drove her car over my Mom and then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off ... |
| From Scrubs
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Geraldine Hughes (Marie): |
|
... his father was from Jamaica ... |
| Sylvester Stallone (Rocky Balboa): |
|
... Jamaica, European ... |
| From Rocky Balboa
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes |
|
| Ellen Page (Juno): |
|
... she [Juno's Mom] lives on a Havasee reservation in Arizona with her new husband and 3 replacement kids ... oh and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day, and I'm like, thanks a heap Coyote Ugly, your cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment ... |
| From Juno
|
| |
| Also See: Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| Harvey Keitel (Lt. Gene Hunt): |
|
... you're here to make me curse the day my Father's sperm asked my Mama's egg if he could have this dance ... |
| From Life on Mars
on October 9, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Mother Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Ellen Page (Juno MacGuff): |
|
... I'm pregnant ... |
| Michael Cera (Paulie Bleeker): |
|
... what should we do? |
| Ellen Page: |
|
... well, you know, I was jus ... I was thinking I would just nip it in the bud, before it gets worse, 'cause they were talking about in health class how pregnancy it often can lead to an infant ... |
| Michael Cera: |
|
... typically, yeah, yeah, that is what happens when our moms and teachers get pregnant ... |
| From Juno
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Pregnant Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Bernie Mac: |
|
... if their mama's fat, you got to say something like, your mama's so fat I poured a half a cup of water in a bathtub and when she sat down, it overflowed ... |
| From The Bernie Mac Show
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes |
|
| Evan Esar: |
|
Father's Day and Mother's Day are alike, except that on Father's Day you buy a much cheaper gift. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Father Quotes Father's Day Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Mother's Day Quotes |
|
| David Letterman: |
|
... if you're looking for the perfect Father's Day gift for an older dad, for an older dad ... how about Barbara Walters ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on June 12, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Father's Day Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Holly Hunter (Elastigirl): |
|
... just a little trouble with Daddy ... |
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... you mean Dad's in trouble or Dad is the trouble? |
| Holly Hunter (Elastigirl): |
|
... I mean, either he's in trouble or he's going to be ... |
| From The Incredibles
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson): |
|
... I invited Selma here to watch Grampa watch the kids ... |
| Julie Kavner (Selma Bouvier): |
|
... for some reason she doesn't trust him, maybe its the bang up job he did raising you ... |
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... he was a great dad, every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Christmas Quotes Father Quotes Holiday Quotes Marge Simpson Quotes Santa Claus Quotes |
|
| Nicholas Turturro (Renaldo Pinera): |
|
... I took my sister to the electrolysis for a second opinion, they said there is nothing they could do ... |
| From I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes Movie Quotes Sister Quotes |
|
| Ray Romano (Ray Barone): |
|
... Ally, you have to do what Mommy says ... |
| Madylin Sweeten (Ally Barone): |
|
... why? |
| Ray Romano: |
|
... because I do ... |
| From Everybody Loves Raymond
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes |
|
| Sean Connery (Professor Henry Jones): |
|
... I think they're [the Nazis] trying to kill us ... |
| Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones): |
|
... I know, Dad! |
| Sean Connery: |
|
... its a new experience for me ... |
| Harrison Ford: |
|
... happens to me all the time ... |
| From Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Father Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Denis Leary (Gus): |
|
... what the hell is wrong with you, I thought moms were supposed to be nice and sweet and patient ... I know more loan sharks that are more forgiving than you ... your husband ain't dead lady, he is hiding ... |
| From The Ref
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Kelly Preston (Josie Stronghold): |
|
... you hungry, I've got plenty of, eggs, bacon ... |
| Danielle Panabaker (Layla Williams): |
|
... no thanks, you know how my mom can communicate with animals, apparently they don't like being eaten ... |
| From Sky High
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Nancy Walls (Health Clinic Counselor): |
|
... now you're all here because you're interested in obtaining birth control, any questions? |
| David Koechner (Dad at Health Clinic): |
|
... here's a cute story, I came home the other day, and he [the son] is with his girlfriend in my matrimonial bed, doing things that are illegal in Alabamba, sex acts, right, things that my wife won't do, ok? |
| Nancy Walls: |
|
... did you have a question? |
| David Koechner: |
|
... how do I get my wife to do that? |
| From The 40 Year Old Virgin
|
| |
| Also See: Cute Quotes Drug Quotes Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... and you just did a movie with Owen Wilson ... |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... yeah, and Vince Vaughn and Christopher Walken plays my dad ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... oh wow, that's allright ... |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... you can see the resemplence ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... what's the name of that movie? |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... ah, Wedding Crashers ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... Wedding Crashers, allright, is that like Dodgeball? |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... I dodged a few, balls ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Dodgeball Quotes Father Quotes Movie Quotes Owen Wilson Quotes Sports Quotes Talk Show Quotes Vince Vaughn Quotes Wedding Crashers Quotes |
|
| Samuel L. Jackson (Lucius Best / Frozone): |
|
... the public is in danger ... |
| Kimberly Adair Clark (Honey Best): |
|
... my evening's in danger ... |
| Samuel L. Jackson (Lucius Best / Frozone): |
|
... you tell me where my suit is woman, we are talking about the greater good ... |
| Kimberly Adair Clark (Honey Best): |
|
... greater good, I am your wife, I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get ... |
| From The Incredibles
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Topher Grace (Eric Forman): |
|
... Daddy, be my Valentine ... |
| Kurtwood Smith (Red Forman): |
|
... do I have to hit you ... go to your room ... |
| From That '70s Show
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Holiday Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| George Foreman: |
|
... I've got 5 sons, I named them all George ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... that my favorite thing, they're all named, but you actually never told me why, I didn't know, I never asked you why ... |
| George Foreman: |
|
... well, you get hit on the head by Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, Ken Norton, Evander Holyfield, see how many names you gonna remember ... |
| From The Tonight Show
|
| |
| Also See: Boxing Quotes Sports Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: |
|
... even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream ...
it is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream ... I have a dream ... that one day ... this nation will rise up ...
and live out the true meaning of its creed ... we hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal ... I have a dream ... that one day on the red hills of Georgia ... sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners, will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood, I have a dream ... that one day ... even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression ... will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice, I have a dream ... that my four little children ... will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, I have a dream today ... I have a dream that one day ... down in Alabama with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition
and nullification ... one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers, I have a dream today ... I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord
shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together ... |
| From I have a Dream Speech
on August 28, 1963
|
| |
| Also See: Famous Quotes Inspirational Quotes Sister Quotes |
|
| Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: |
|
I want to be the white man's brother, but not his brother-in-law. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes |
|
| Greg Giraldo: |
|
... I got a Valentine's Day card from my Grandmother, how ridiculous is that ... we stopped having sex years ago ... |
| From Unknown
|
| |
| Also See: Holiday Quotes Sex Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| Jon Stewart: |
|
... don't confuse it [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why ... boy will you creep him out ... uh I can just tell you from last year, uh, even if they do like chocolate, they don't want it from their son ... |
| From The Daily Show
on June 5, 2002
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Father's Day Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... how about kids ... you want, you want kids? |
| Dane Cook: |
|
... do I want to have kids ... ah, I want to have sex ... if that's the excuse, sure ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on October 25, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Sex Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Kevin Spacey (Lloyd Chasseur): |
|
... you know what Ma, you know what I am going to get you next Christmas, a big wooden cross, this way the next time you feel unappreciated, you climb on up on it and nail yourself to it ... |
| From The Ref
|
| |
| Also See: Christmas Quotes Holiday Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Emo Philips: |
|
... my parents were very protective of me ... whenever I went to cross the street, they would get very excited and start making bets ... |
| From Unknown
|
|
| Ray Romano (Ray Barone): |
|
... don't try to get me to change my mind, ok, I see you're firing up all those pistons in your little guilt machine ... |
| Doris Roberts (Marie Barone): |
|
... I don't have a guilt machine, Raymond ... all I have is the hope that, our family can be happy ... |
| Patricia Heaton (Debra Barone): |
|
... there's a lot of miles on that machine but it runs like new ... |
| From Everybody Loves Raymond
|
| |
| Also See: Happy Quotes |
|
| John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): |
|
... but I am afraid you have me confused with someone who gives a crap, and its ok, you don't need to be embarrased, it happens all the time, my father actually made the same mistake on his death bed ... |
| From Scrubs
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Father Quotes Scary Quotes |
|
| Jack Handey: |
|
... I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey ... Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey ... we had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine ... later on I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom to thank them and I caught them eating a little turkey ... I guess that really wasn't the best Thanksgiving ... |
| From SNL (Saturday Night Live)
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes Father Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes |
|
| Lance Armstrong: |
|
... I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late ... |
| Vince Vaughn (Peter La Fleur): |
|
... uhh, actually I decided to quit, Lance ... |
| Lance Armstrong: |
|
... quit ... you know once I thought about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung, and testicular cancer ... all at the same time ... but with the love and support of my friends and family I got back on the bike, and I won the Tour De France 5 times in a row, but I am sure you have a good reason to quit ... so what are you dying from that is keeping you from the finals? |
| Vince Vaughn: |
|
... right now it feels a little bit like, shame ... |
| Lance Armstrong: |
|
... well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life ... but good luck to you Peter, I am sure this decision won't haunt you forever ... |
| From Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
|
| |
| Also See: Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin): |
|
... breast feeding's just so painful since Stewie's teeth are coming in, now I feel how Alec Baldwin feels when he feeds his brothers ... |
| From Family Guy
|
| |
| Also See: Lois Griffin Quotes Stewie Griffin Quotes |
|
| McDonalds Customer: |
|
... nice parenting ... |
| Adam Sandler (Sonny Koufax): |
|
... what are you my therapist, go take a walk ... |
| From Big Daddy
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... Slip 'N Slide, yeah ... it would have been fun if Dad checked for rocks before he put it down ... Slip 'N Bleed From the Anus they should have called this ride ... |
| From Harmful If Swallowed
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes |
|
| Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat): |
|
... my wife is dead ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... sorry to hear that ... |
| Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat): |
|
... high five ... she was boring ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Justin Chambers (Dr. Alex Karev): |
|
... you may be confused since you were basically raised by wolves, but this is what mothers do, they stop by, they stock the fridge ... dude you think she might do our laundry? |
| Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey): |
|
... hey, get your own fake mom ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
|
|
| Catman Cohen: |
|
Increasingly, I see all adults as mere babies in grown-up bodies ... and sometimes I fantasize about what it would be like to become everybody's surrogate father ... and just do my best to protect each and every person against the evils of the world that harm and defeat so many good souls. |
| From CatmanCohen.com
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes Father Quotes |
|
| Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey): |
|
... I am not pregnant ... |
| Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang): |
|
... you don't know who the father is, do you? |
| From Grey's Anatomy
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Pregnant Quotes |
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... your wife must be a patient women ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... she's lucky ... |
| From The Tonight Show
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Katherine Heigl (Dr. Izzie Stevens): |
|
... you are a doctor now, parental disappointment ends with a medical degree ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on February 1, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes |
|
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... ok, it is the standard grandpa drill, everyone into the cellar ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went "wait, don't curse" ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson): |
|
... Dad, I am glad you are still alive ... |
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... yes, it is every parent's dream to outlive their children ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Father Quotes Happy Quotes |
|
| Patrick Dempsey (Dr. Derek Shepherd): |
|
... you have to tell me where she is, I saved your husband ... |
| Chandra Wilson (Dr. Miranda Bailey): |
|
... she saved my baby ... |
| Patrick Dempsey: |
|
... baby trumps husband ... baby trumps husband? |
| From Grey's Anatomy
|
|
| Evan Esar: |
|
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. |
| From Crossword Puzzle
|
| |
| Also See: Mother Quotes Sister Quotes |
|
| Vince Vaughn: |
|
... I am going to go home, see Dr. Finklestein, and I am gonna tell him we have a whole new bag of issues now ... we can forget about Mom for a while ... |
| From Wedding Crashers
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Tom Hanks (Forest Gump): |
|
... my mama always says, stupid is as stupid does ... |
| From Forest Gump
|
| |
| Also See: Famous Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Peter Boyle (Frank): |
|
... you're a trophy wife ... what kind of contest in hell did I win? |
| From Everybody Loves Raymond
|
|
| Billy Corgan: |
|
... my parents used to beat me in rhythm ... |
| From Black Sessions (a Smashing Pumkins' bootleg CD)
|
| |
| Also See: Music Quotes |
