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Logan.WS / Quotes / History Quotes

History Quotes

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Funny and Memorable Quotes
500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
History Quotes are normally funny quotes about famous things that happened a long time ago, boring things we used to learn in school, or where history is mentioned in general.

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Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester): ... the two of you are making a very serious mistake today, the likes of which has not been seen since the Mexican Indians sold Manhattan to George Washington for an up skirt photo of Betsy Ross ...
From Glee on September 21, 2010

Megan Fox (Mikaela Banes): ... are you, are you new to school, this year, this is your first year?
Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky): ... oh, no, no, ah, we've been in the same school since first grade ...
Megan Fox: ... really?
Shia LaBeouf: ... yeah ...
Megan Fox: ... no ...
Shia LaBeouf: ... yeah, long time ...
Megan Fox: ... well do, do we have any classes together?
Shia LaBeouf: ... uh, yeah, yeah, history ... language arts, math, science ...
From Transformers
Also See: Movie Quotes School Quotes

Artie Lange: ... if you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 4, 2009
Also See: Talk Show Quotes

Winston Churchill: History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
From The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
Also See: Book Quotes

Vince Vaughn (Bernard Campbell): ... you should be proud of yourself, you have any idea how hard it is to land yourself a girl as sexually enlightened as Heidi is ... a girl like that comes around, what, every 100 years ...
Luke Wilson (Mitch Martin): ... I wasn't looking for a girl like that ...
Vince Vaughn: ... Columbus wasn't looking for America, my man, but that seemed to work out perfectly, didn't it ...
From Old School
Also See: Movie Quotes Sex Quotes

Bill Murray (John Winger): ... I have a plan ...
Harold Ramis (Russell Ziskey): ... great, Custer had a plan ...
From Stripes
Also See: Movie Quotes

Tolstoy: History would be a wonderful thing - if it were only true.
From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Also See: Book Quotes

Al Pacino (Don Michael Corleone): ... if anything in this life is certain ... if history has taught us anything ... is that you can kill anyone ...
From The Godfather: Part II
Also See: Death Quotes Life Quotes Movie Quotes

David Koechner (Champ Kind): ... what in the hell is diversity?
Will Ferrell (Ron Burgundy): ... well, I I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era ...
From Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Also See: Movie Quotes

David Spade (Rand): ... hi, well well, I see we have a new pledge, Mayflower material I presume?
Chris Young (Tom): ... huh?
David Spade: ... It's a boat, your ancestors obviously didn't come over on it, but hey its the 90s, we'll take whatever we can get ...
From PCU
Also See: Movie Quotes

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Book Christmas Crazy Cute
Death Doctor Drinking Drugs
Easter Family Famous Father
Father's Day Food Football Friendship
Graduation Happy History Holidays
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Mother Movies Music MySpace
Pirate Political Pregnant Relationship
Scary School Sex Sister
Sports Talk Show Thanksgiving Valentine's Day

Quoted People:
Adam Sandler Artie Lange Brad Pitt Catman Cohen
Chris Farley Chris Rock Christian Bale Dane Cook
Daniel Tosh David Spade Ellen Pompeo Emo Philips
Evan Esar Heath Ledger Homer Simpson Howard Stern
Johnny Depp Kristen Stewart Lisa Lampanelli
 Martin Luther King, Jr
Matt LeBlanc Mitch Hedberg Oprah Winfrey Paris Hilton
Rachael Ray Sandra Oh Steven Wright Stewie Griffin
Tracy Morgan Vince Vaughn Will Ferrell Will Smith
 William Shakespeare

Quote Sources:
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Family Guy
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500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Funny and Memorable Quotes:
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