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Logan.WS / Quotes / Scrubs Quotes

Scrubs Quotes

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Funny and Memorable Quotes
500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Scrubs TV Show
Scrubs TV show quotes are from the funny TV show Scrubs about the funny happenings in a hospital starring Zach Braff as J.D., Sarah Chalke as Dr. Elliot Reid, Donald Faison as Turk, Neil Flynn as The Janitor, and John C. McGinley as Dr. Perry Cox.

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Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): ... you and Elliot did go through a lot ...
Judy Reyes (Nurse Carla Espinosa): ... you two have been on and off again more than Ross and Rachel from Friends ...
Zach Braff (Dr. John Dorian): ... pshh, please I'm nothing like Ross ...
John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): ... oh, ofcourse not, you're Rachel, she's Ross ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Friends Quotes Relationship Quotes

Zach Braff (J.D.): ... why do you keep a globe on your janitor cart?
Neil Flynn (The Janitor): ... in case I get lost ...
From Scrubs

Zach Braff (J.D.): ... you ever watch The Shield, Pat, you happen to get FX, Pat, because you are going to get Michael Chiklis-ed, in the head, he's the orange guy in the Fantastic Four, that's coming down on you ...
From Scrubs on January 13, 2009
Also See: Movie Quotes

Courteney Cox (Dr Maddox): ... looking for something?
John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): ... yes, my cloak of invisibility so that I can avoid conversations with soulless dictators such as yourself, unfortunately it's really hard to find, because as the name suggests, it's invisible ...
Courteney Cox: ... alright Dr. Cox ... ridiculous name by the way ...
From Scrubs on January 13, 2009

Ken Jenkins (Dr. Bob Kelso): ... hey Ace, your TTP patient coded, I pronounced him ...
Zach Braff (J.D.): ... he died?
Ken Jenkins: ... I certainly hope so otherwise that autopsy gonna be a bitch ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Death Quotes

Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): ... if Tyra Banks drove her car over my Mom and then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Family Quotes Mother Quotes Sex Quotes

Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): ... what am I doing playing golf, it is so Tiger Woods's fault ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Golf Quotes Sports Quotes Tiger Woods Quotes

Tara Reid (Danni Sullivan): ... do you evan enjoy hanging out with me?
Zach Braff (J.D.): ... enjoy is a strong word ...
From Scrubs

Judy Reyes (Nurse Carla Espinosa): ... love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight and you'll crush it ...
Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): ... too loose and it flys away ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Cute Quotes Love Quotes

Sarah Chalke (Dr. Elliot Reid): ... oh and FYI, I happen to like the voice overs on Grey's Anatomy, except when they are really vague and generic ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Grey's Anatomy Quotes

John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): ... but I am afraid you have me confused with someone who gives a crap, and its ok, you don't need to be embarrased, it happens all the time, my father actually made the same mistake on his death bed ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Father Quotes Scary Quotes

Zach Braff (J.D.): ... have you guys been fake laughing at my jokes, be honest, I promise abosolutely no ramifications ...
Travis Schuldt (Keith): ... well, we've been kinda fake laughing ...
Zach Braff: ... Keith, I hope you die a violent death and bugs eat your corpse ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Death Quotes

John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): ... so, if you want to solve a real mystery, go ahead and figure out who's taking my NY Times every Sunday, or, better yet, how about why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Dane Cook Quotes

John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): ... you can't drink and come to work, you're not airline pilots ...
From Scrubs
Also See: Drug Quotes

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Chris Farley Chris Rock Christian Bale Dane Cook
Daniel Tosh David Spade Ellen Pompeo Emo Philips
Evan Esar Heath Ledger Homer Simpson Howard Stern
Johnny Depp Kristen Stewart Lisa Lampanelli
 Martin Luther King, Jr
Matt LeBlanc Mitch Hedberg Oprah Winfrey Paris Hilton
Rachael Ray Sandra Oh Steven Wright Stewie Griffin
Tracy Morgan Vince Vaughn Will Ferrell Will Smith
 William Shakespeare

Quote Sources:
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500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Funny and Memorable Quotes:
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