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Quotes



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Funny and Memorable Quotes
    Funny and Memorable Quotes are quotes from anywhere (movies, songs, books, etc.) or anyone. They are not necessarily exact or direct quotes, but posted as they are remembered by Logan.

Quote Categories:
Basketball Batman Best Birthday
Book Christmas Crazy Cute
Death Doctor Drinking Drugs
Easter Family Famous Father
Father's Day Food Football Friendship
Graduation Happy History Holidays
Inspirational Irish Life Love
Mother Movies Music MySpace
Pirate Political Pregnant Relationship
Scary School Sex Sister
Sports Talk Show Thanksgiving Valentine's Day
Wedding      

Quoted People:
Adam Sandler Artie Lange Brad Pitt Catman Cohen
Chris Farley Chris Rock Christian Bale Dane Cook
Daniel Tosh David Spade Ellen Pompeo Emo Philips
Evan Esar Heath Ledger Homer Simpson Howard Stern
Johnny Depp Kristen Stewart Lisa Lampanelli
 Martin Luther King, Jr
Matt LeBlanc Mitch Hedberg Oprah Winfrey Paris Hilton
Rachael Ray Sandra Oh Steven Wright Stewie Griffin
Tracy Morgan Vince Vaughn Will Ferrell Will Smith
 William Shakespeare
     

Quote Sources:
 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Anchorman Bible Big Daddy
Black Sheep Blues Brothers Crossword Puzzles
 Dane Cook's Harmful If Swallowed
 Dane Cook's Retaliation
Elf
 Everybody Loves Raymond
Family Guy
Friends Game of Thrones
 The Godfather
 Good Will Hunting
Grey's Anatomy Harry Potter
 Howard Stern Show
 Jimmy Kimmel Live
Juno
 Late Night with Conan O'Brien
The Notebook Old School
One Tree Hill PCU
 Pirates of the Caribbean
Scrubs
 Sex and the City
Simpsons SNL Talladega Nights
Tommy Boy Tonight Show Twilight Wedding Crashers
Zoolander      

500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Funny and Memorable Quotes:
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Current Quote:
Seth MacFarlane (Ted):... oh come on, I don't sound that much like Peter Griffin ...
From Ted
 
Also See: Family Guy Quotes Movie Quotes
 
Past Remembered Quotes of the Moment
Craig Ferguson:... this will be your first marriage?
Amy Adams:... yes ...
Craig Ferguson:... oh, you want to get this one out of the way quickly ...
From The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Anne Hathaway (Selina):... never steal anything from anyone you can't outrun ...
From The Dark Knight Rises
 
Also See: Batman Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Jai Courtney (Jack McClane):... you go looking for trouble or does it always just seem to, find you?
Bruce Willis (John McClane):... you know, after all these years, I still ask myself the same questions ...
From A Good Day to Die Hard
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Robert Downey Jr. (Tony Stark):... sometimes you got to run before you can walk ...
From Iron Man
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Bruce Willis (Butch Coolidge):... I'm American, honey, our names don't mean squat ...
From Pulp Fiction
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Kaley Cuoco (Penny):... love trumps hate ...
Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper):... now you are just making stuff up ...
From The Big Bang Theory
 
Also See: Love Quotes
 

 
Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey):.. they say the truth will set you free, what the hell do they know ...
From Grey's Anatomy
 

 
Sam Witwer (Aidan Waite):... first rule about vampires, don't talk about vampires ...
From Being Human
 

 
Aidan Gillen (Petyr Baelish):... what you don't know is what usually gets you killed ...
From Game of Thrones
 
Also See: Death Quotes
 

 
Si Robertson:... hey, I sting like a butterfly, and punch like a flea ...
From Duck Dynasty
 

 
Stephen Dorff (Stavros):... personally, I'd rather fight with a madman than against one ...
From Immortals
 
Also See: Crazy Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen):... I think you'll find the human vampire divorce rate is a little lower ...
From The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes Twilight Saga Quotes
 

 
Piper Perabo (Simone):... there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet ...
From Go On
 
Also See: Friendship Quotes
 

 
Jesse Williams (Dr. Jackson Avery):... Dr Webber rejected my mother's cookies ...
Justin Chambers (Dr. Alex Karev):... that sounds dirty ...
From Grey's Anatomy
 
Also See: Food Quotes Mother Quotes
 

 
David Boreanaz (Special Agent Booth):... Valentine's Day isn't a holiday, it is made up by greeting card companies and florists ...
From Bones on February 17, 2011
 
Also See: Holiday Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes
 

 
Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper):... I so loath you ...
Wil Wheaton (Wil Wheaton):... that's right Sheldon, embrace the dark side ...
Jim Parsons:... that isn't even from your franchise ...
From The Big Bang Theory
 
Also See: Star Wars Quotes
 

 
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.
From The Quotable Intellectual: 1,417 Bon Mots, Ripostes, and Witticisms for Aspiring Academics, Armchair Philosophers...And Anyone Else Who Wants to Sound Really Smart
 
Also See: Book Quotes Friendship Quotes Love Quotes
 

 
Reese Witherspoon (Lauren):... have you been or do you plan on being a serial killer?
Tom Hardy (Tuck):... nnn, well, I mean, you got to keep your options open ...
From This Means War
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Katey Sagal (Gemma Teller Morrow):... only men need to be loved sweetheart, women need to be wanted ...
From Sons of Anarchy
 
Also See: Love Quotes
 

 
Jimmy Kimmel:... will you be blowing out the ah, the candles on the turkey tomorrow, how will it work?
Peter Facinelli:... ah, I'll tell you how it works, ah every 6 or 7 years my birthday falls on thanksgiving, which was really great when I was growing up because ah, the whole family is over so that they were all forced to give me gifts ...
From Jimmy Kimmel Live on November 25, 2009
 
Also See: Birthday Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes
 

 
Lena Headey (Cersei Lannister):... power is power ...
From Game of Thrones
 

 
Robert Kelly:... the internet killed CDs and pimps ...
From The Opie and Anthony Show on August 4, 2010
 
Also See: Death Quotes Music Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Johnny Depp (John Dillinger):... you can be a dead hero or an alive cowboy ...
From Public Enemies
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Abigail Breslin (Bo Hess):... there's a monster under my bed, can I have a glass of water?
From Signs
 
Also See: Monster Quotes Movie Quotes Scary Quotes
 

 
Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen):... you can't trust vampires, trust me ...
From The Twilight Saga: New Moon
 
Also See: Monster Quotes Movie Quotes Twilight Saga Quotes
 

 
Artie Lange (Lou's Cousin):... I'll have the chicken and I'll have the waffles, heavy on the chicken, heavy on the waffles, and uh, why don't you give me a fruit salad for my conscience ...
John Scurti (Lou Shea):... I'll have the same, hold the fruit ...
From Rescue Me
 
Also See: Food Quotes
 

 
David Spade:... a friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant ... proving once again that cocaine is not birth control ...
From The Showbiz Show with David Spade
 
Also See: Drug Quotes Pregnant Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
James Van Der Beek (James Van Der Beek):... you don't put The Beatles back together without John Lennon, I'm Lennon and McCartney, bitch ...
From Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 on October 23, 2012
 
Also See: Music Quotes
 

 
Alec Baldwin (Jack Donaghy):... there are no bad ideas, Lemon, only great ideas that go horribly wrong ...
From 30 Rock
 

 
Mitt Romney:... I love teachers ...
Bob Schieffer:... I think we all love teachers ...
From Presidential Debate on October 22, 2012
 
Also See: Love Quotes Political Quotes School Quotes
 

 
Samuel L. Jackson (Jules Winnfield):... what do they call a Big Mac?
John Travolta (Vincent Vega):... a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it, Le Big Mac ...
Samuel L. Jackson:... Le Big Mac, ha ha ha, what do they call a Whopper?
John Travolta:... I don't know, I didn't go into Burger King ...
From Pulp Fiction
 
Also See: Famous Quotes Food Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Ben Affleck (A.J. Frost):... have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?
Peter Stormare (Lev Andropov):... no, I never saw Star Wars ...
From Armageddon
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Star Wars Quotes
 

 
Currie Graham (Nick Balco):... the most dangerous creature is a helpful woman ...
From Raising the Bar
 

 
Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen):... werewolves aren't good company to keep ...
From The Twilight Saga: New Moon
 
Also See: Monster Quotes Movie Quotes Scary Quotes Twilight Saga Quotes
 

 
Dane Cook (Charlie):... Gandhi was Indian ...
Dan Fogler (Stu):... they don't like to be called that ...
From Good Luck Chuck
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Jason Lee (Dwight Hendricks):... those that can't do, teach ...
From Memphis Beat on July 7, 2010
 
Also See: School Quotes
 

 
Jerry Seinfeld:... when I met Paul McCartney, all I wanted to know was, do you eat eggs for breakfast?
From Howard Stern Show on August 30, 2010
 
Also See: Food Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Georgia King (Goldie Clemmons):... I don't regret the things I've done, only the things I wanted to do, and never did ...
From The New Normal
 
Also See: Inspirational Quotes
 

 
Charlie Sheen (Charlie Harper):... if I want your opinion, I would ask your ex-wife ...
From Two and a Half Men
 

 
Tom Cruise (Lt. Daniel Kaffee):... I want the truth ...
Jack Nicholson (Col. Nathan R. Jessup):... you can't handle the truth ...
From A Few Good Men
 
Also See: Famous Quotes
 

 
Geoffrey Rush (Captain Barbossa):... you best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner, you're in one ...
From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Scary Quotes
 

 
Matthew McConaughey (Connor Mead):... love is a myth ...
From Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
 
Also See: Love Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Eric Dane (Dr. Mark Sloan):... so, how was your night in jail, you shank someone right off the bat ... you got to let the other cons know not to mess with you ...
Patrick Dempsey (Dr. Derek Shepherd):... that's not funny ...
From Grey's Anatomy on September 30, 2010
 

 
Summer Glau (Orwell):... birthdays are overrated ...
From The Cape
 
Also See: Birthday Quotes
 

 
Jim Carrey (Lloyd Christmas):... I want to ask you a question straight out, what do you think the chances are of a girl like me and a guy like you getting together?
Lauren Holly (Mary Swanson):... well Lloyd that is difficult to say ...
Jim Carrey:... level with me ...
Lauren Holly:... not good ...
Jim Carrey:... you mean not good like one out of a hundred?
Lauren Holly:... I would say more like one out of a million ...
Jim Carrey:... so you are telling me there is a chance ...
From Dumb & Dumber
 
Also See: Famous Quotes Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes
 

 
Chris Rock:... I ain't scared of al-Qaeda, I'm scared of al-Cracka ...
From Never Scared
 
Also See: Scary Quotes
 

 
Lea Michele (Rachel Berry):... why are you picking on me?
Kate Hudson (Cassandra July):... I'm not, I'm motivating you ...
From Glee on September 13, 2012
 
Also See: Inspirational Quotes
 

 
Mitt Romney:... Mr President, you're entitled as president to your own airplane and to your own house, but not to your own facts ...
From Presidential Debate on October 4, 2012
 
Also See: Political Quotes
 

 
Homer Simpson:... it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume ...
From The Simpsons
 
Also See: Relationship Quotes
 

 
Sean Bean (Odysseus):... sometimes you have to serve in order to lead ...
From Troy
 
Also See: Inspirational Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Daniel Day Lewis (Daniel Plainview):... I hate most people ...
From There Will Be Blood
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Jay Pharoah (Barack Obama):... remember that movie, The Sixth Sense ... I'm like the kid in that movie ... I see employed people ... I know you don't see them, don't even know they're there, but one day all of you will be Bruce Willis, and you will realize you were employed all along ...
From Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update Thursday on September 27, 2012
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Political Quotes Saturday Night Live Quotes
 

 
Pauley Perrette (Abby Sciuto):... thank you sir ...
Mark Harmon (Special Agent Gibbs):... don't call me sir ...
Pauley Perrette:... thank you ma'am ...
From NCIS
 

 
Howard Stern:... I like the matzo that is actually baked on a Jewish man's back in the desert ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 30, 2010
 
Also See: Food Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Steve Buscemi (Nucky Thompson):... we all have to decide for ourselves how much sin we are willing to live with ...
From Boardwalk Empire
 

 
Joseph Gordon-Levitt:... I have the movie Looper coming out Ö in that one, uh, I play a young version of Bruce Willis, so I guess I am playing Ashton Kutcher ...
From SNL (Saturday Night Live) on September 23, 2012
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Jane Krakowski (Jenna Maroney):... I will be furious, like waking next to Rob Schneider furious ...
From 30 Rock
 
Also See: Sex Quotes
 

 
Kristen Stewart (Bella Swan):... I'm not afraid of you, I'm only afraid of losing you ...
From Twilight
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes Twilight Saga Quotes
 

 
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Cameron James):... Bianca says that Kat likes pretty guys ...
Heath Ledger (Patrick Verona):... are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
David Krumholtz (Michael):... he's very pretty ...
Joseph Gordon-Levitt:... yeah I, I just wasn't sure, I didn't know ...
From 10 Things I Hate About You
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes
 

 
Zach Gilford (Dr. Brett Robinson):... this isn't legal ...
Jordana Spiro (Dr. Grace Devlin):... well then it's a good thing we're not lawyers ...
From The Mob Doctor on September 17, 2012
 

 
Tom Hardy (Tommy Conlon):... I liked you better when you were drunk ...
From Warrior
 
Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Al Pacino (Michael Corleone):... don't ask me about my business ...
From The Godfather
 
Also See: Famous Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Lena Headey (Cersei Lannister):... the more people you love, the weaker you are ...
From Game of Thrones on May 13, 2012
 
Also See: Love Quotes
 

 
Kate Hudson (Cassandra July):... Ohio is like a giant turd that Michigan just can't pinch off ...
From Glee on September 13, 2012
 

 
Alison Louder (Emily):... did you think that the one thing not to say to Jewish parents is don't worry ...
From Being Human
 

 
Dane Cook (Tank):... you're what we call a 2 bagger, ok, that means that I have to wear a bag on my head just in case the one on yours breaks ...
From My Best Friend's Girl
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Sex Quotes
 

 
Jeremy Renner (Sergeant First Class William James):... if I'm gonna die, I want to die comfortable ...
From The Hurt Locker
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Tom Hardy (Bane):... the shadows betray you because they belong to me ...
From The Dark Knight Rises
 
Also See: Batman Quotes Movie Quotes Scary Quotes
 

 
Terence Stamp:... love, the grandest hunger of all ...
From The Hunger
 
Also See: Love Quotes
 

 
Jennifer Lawrence (Ree):... never ask for what ought-ta be offered ...
From Winter's Bone
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Donald Sutherland (President Snow):... hope ... it is the only thing stronger than fear ...
From The Hunger Games
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Arnold Schwarzenegger (Dutch):... if it bleeds, we can kill it ...
From Predator
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Brad Pitt (Billy Beane):... would you rather get a bullet to the head or five to the chest and bleed to death?
Jonah Hill (Peter Brand):... are those my only two options?
From Moneyball
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern:... Katy Perry released a new song yesterday, called Russell Brand is the Antichrist ... its very blunt and to the point but we're gonna play that the next time we see each other, alright?
Russell Brand:... we should analyze that together, I don't think it is about me, I think you're reading too much into it ...
Howard Stern:... actually she says in this quote "its not about Russell Brand" ...
From Howard Stern Show on July 18, 2012
 
Also See: Music Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Si Robertson:... ducks are like women, they don't like mud on their butts ...
From Duck Dynasty
 

 
Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Dent):... you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain ...
From The Dark Knight
 
Also See: Batman Quotes Death Quotes Life Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Morgan Freeman (Red):... hope is a dangerous thing ...
From The Shawshank Redemption
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Tina Fey (Liz Lemon):... ok, fine, maybe I'm a little old fashioned, I'm sorry I'm a real woman, and not some oversexed New York nympho like these sluts on, Everybody Loves Raymond ...
From 30 Rock
 
Also See: Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes Sex Quotes
 

 
Ryan Kwanten (Jason Stackhouse):... never thought I was smart enough to get depressed, but here I am ...
From True Blood on August 1, 2010
 

 
Denzel Washington (Frank):... don't get sentimental on me, makes me think I'm gonna die ...
From Unstoppable
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Sean Bean (Eddard Stark):... what you suggest is treason ...
Aidan Gillen (Petyr Baelish):... only if we lose ...
From Game of Thrones
 

 
Howie Mandel:... I do my comedy for free, what you pay for is for me to leave my home and get on a plane ...
From Howard Stern Show on January 8, 2008
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson):... you don't bring a date to a wedding, that's like bringing a deer carcass to a hunting trip ...
From How I Met Your Mother
 
Also See: Death Quotes Relationship Quotes Sports Quotes Wedding Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern:... I want to thank you, now I know why I don't like people ...
From America's Got Talent on May 14, 2012
 

 
Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow):... this girl, how far are you willing to go to save her?
Orlando Bloom (Will Turner):... I'd die for her ...
Johnny Depp:... oh good, no worries then ...
From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Robert Downey Jr. (Kirk Lazarus):... I'm just a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude ...
From Tropic Thunder
 
Also See: Famous Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Tina Fey:... I want to thank Alice, uh, for her patience, uh, someday she'll be old enough to watch, 30 Rock re-runs on the internet, and understand where Mommy was going at 6 am everyday, for all that time, and, and she'll look up at me and say, "what do you mean you don't get residuals for this?" ...
From 15th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards
 
Also See: Mother Quotes
 

 
Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester):... commercials aren't real life, advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions, haven't you seen Mad Men ...
From Glee on May 8, 2012
 
Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Life Quotes
 

 
Sara Ramirez (Dr. Callie Torres):... it's tense and it's cold and it's dangerous, feels like defusing a bomb, in a haunted house, that's built on a mine field, and there are bears, everywhere, and the bears have knives ...
From Grey's Anatomy on April 26, 2012
 
Also See: Scary Quotes
 

 
Lisa Lampanelli:... this is Celebrity Apprentice, not Celebrity Miss Universe ...
From The Apprentice
 

 
Ben Stiller (Greg Focker):... oh yeah, you can milk anything with nipples ...
Robert De Niro (Jack Byrnes):... I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?
From Meet the Parents
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Dennis Quaid (General Hawk):... knowing is half the battle ...
From G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
 
Also See: Famous Quotes Inspirational Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister):... what do you want Bronn, gold, women, golden women?
From Game of Thrones
 

 
Leslie Bibb (Christine Everhart):... you've been called the Davinci of our time, what do you say to that?
Robert Downey Jr. (Tony Stark):... absolutely rediculous, I don't paint ....
Leslie Bibb:... and what do you say to your other nickname, merchant of death ...
Robert Downey Jr.:... that's not bad ...
From Iron Man
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Woody Harrelson (Tallahassee):... I haven't cried this much since Titanic ...
From Zombieland
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Ron Perlman (Clay Morrow):... nobody speaks Spanish ... nothing?
Theo Rossi (Juice Ortiz):... I'm a Puerto Rican from Queens, I speak better Yiddish ...
From Sons of Anarchy
 

 
Kaley Cuoco (Penny):... I'm your best friend?
Mayim Bialik (Amy Farrah Fowler):... don't you read my blog?
Kaley Cuoco:... oh, don't feel bad, I never read Leonard's and I used to sleep with him ...
From The Big Bang Theory
 
Also See: Best Quotes Friendship Quotes Sex Quotes
 

 
Brad Pitt (Rusty Ryan):... he died ...
George Clooney (Danny Ocean):... on the job?
Brad Pitt:... skin cancer ...
George Clooney:... did you send flowers?
Brad Pitt:... I dated his wife for a while ...
From Ocean's Eleven
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes
 

 
Cole Hauser (Jimmy Godfrey):... you know at work we get to use guns, at home you gotta, you know, talk ...
Kelli Giddish (Annie Frost):... easier to use a gun ...
From Chase on September 20, 2010
 

 
Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey):... supposedly, alcohol will make my baby have 3 heads, and 16 toes ...
Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang):... umm, wanna get some crack cocain?
From Grey's Anatomy on January 6, 2011
 
Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Scary Quotes
 

 
Michael Weatherly (Special Agent Tony DiNozzo):... I'm educating probee on what, Italy has contributed to the world ... oration, Italian Gin, sports cars ...
Cote de Pablo (Ziva David):... gold chains and chest hairs ...
Michael Weatherly:... and pasta, in all its sexy shapes and sizes ...
Cote de Pablo:... the Chinese invented pasta ...
Michael Weatherly:... Communist error propaganda ...
From NCIS
 
Also See: Drug Quotes Food Quotes
 

 
Zooey Deschanel (Jess):... that was crazy what happened to my friends, right?
Annalise Basso (Sarah):... I liked it ... your life is like Gossip Girl, only everyone is old and poor ...
Zooey Deschanel:... you know there actually was a show like that, it was called Golden Girls, Iím Betty White ...
From New Girl on April 17, 2012
 
Also See: Crazy Quotes Life Quotes
 

 
Paul Rudd (Danny):... I'm not Ben Affleck ...
Bobb'e J. Thompson (Ronnie):... you white, then you Ben Afflek, right Wheeler?
Seann William Scott (Wheeler):... yeah, you are white ...
Paul Rudd:... that's true, I am white ...
From Role Models
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Earl Boen (Dr. Silberman):... you broke my arm ...
Linda Hamilton (Sarah Connor):... there are 215 bones in the human body, that's one ...
From Terminator 2: Judgment Day
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Scary Quotes
 

 
Linus Roache (Thomas Wayne):... why do we fall, so we can pick ourselves back up again ...
From Batman Begins
 
Also See: Batman Quotes Inspirational Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Tina Fey (Liz Lemon):... without the Germans, you wouldn't have any of the Indiana Jones movies ...
From 30 Rock
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Chris Evans (Johnny Storm):... if having special powers is a disease, then yeah, we got it bad ...
From Fantastic Four
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern:... how about weekend at Tommy Boy's with Chris's dead body ...
From Howard Stern Show on November 5, 2009
 
Also See: Chris Farley Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes Tommy Boy Quotes
 

 
Dianna Agron (Quinn Fabray):... prom queens live on average 5 years longer than regular people, that's probably because they smile a lot, and smiling has been proven to ward off diseases ...
From Glee on March 15, 2011
 
Also See: Life Quotes School Quotes
 

 
Alfie Allen (Theon Greyjoy):... you afraid?
Richard Madden (Robb Stark):... I must be ...
Alfie Allen:... good ...
Richard Madden:... why is that good?
Alfie Allen:... it means you aren't stupid ...
From Game of Thrones
 

 
Busy Philipps (Laurie Keller):... if Matt Damon weren't married, and if he weren't a movie star, and if he lived in this town ... I really think we would date ...
Courteney Cox (Jules Cobb):... that's a lot of ifs ...
Christa Miller (Ellie Torres):... yet not enough ...
From Cougar Town
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes
 

 
Howard Stern:... anyone believe that Jesus really told that woman to be a midwife ... that's like the Easter bunny told her to be a midwife ...
From Howard Stern Show on March 24, 2010
 
Also See: Easter Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Anna Faris (Shelley Darlingson):... I love charity, one time I even let Bob Saget grind on me during a slow dance ...
From The House Bunny
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
John Lithgow (Lord Farquaad):... some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make ...
From Shrek
 
Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes
 

 
Olivia Wilde (Thirteen):... lying about a lie, that's practically telling the truth ...
From House M.D.
 

 
Ice-T (Detective Fin Tutuola):... one divorce is enough for me, how did you do it 4 times?
Richard Belzer (Detective John Munch):... you've got to play to win ...
From Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (SVU)
 
Also See: Relationship Quotes
 

 
Lena Headey (Cersei Lannister):... when you play the game of thrones, you win or die, there's no middle ground ...
From Game of Thrones
 
Also See: Death Quotes
 

 
David Letterman:... Sunday is April Fool's Day ... that means earlier today a confused President Bush went around the White House hiding colored eggs ...
From Late Show with David Letterman
 
Also See: Easter Quotes Holiday Quotes Political Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Bob Hope:... welcome to the Academy Awards, or as it's known in my house, Passover ...
From Academy Awards
 

 
Tina Fey (Liz Lemon):... oh, speaking of Halloween, are you dressing up this year?
Alec Baldwin (Jack Donaghy):... Lemon, its march ...
Tina Fey:... cause I'm gonna be Mitt RomMummy, I call it, you can't steal it ...
Alec Baldwin:... why wouldn't you be Mitt Zomney?
Tina Fey:... cause I'm an idiot, uhh, come on Liz, think for one second before you buy all that gauze ...
From 30 Rock
 
Also See: Halloween Quotes Holiday Quotes Monster Quotes Political Quotes
 

 
Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper):... you're my 15th favorite technological visionary ...
Steve Wozniak:... only 15th?
Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper):... it's still 6 spots above Steve Jobs ... I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship ...
Steve Wozniak:... yeah, I never got that turtleneck thing ...
From The Big Bang Theory
 

 
Katy Perry (Honey):... my apartment building, is so safe, my landlord, he evan installed a security camera, in my shower ...
From How I Met Your Mother
 

 
Carl H Claudy:... It is not especially difficult to make friends; to keep them is another matter ...
From Foreign Countries
 
Also See: Book Quotes Friendship Quotes
 

 
Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House):... either that [iPhone] cost more than 25 bucks or I am seriously doubting Steve Jobs's business strategies ...
From House M.D. on January 29, 2008
 

 
Dane Cook:... I would watch Newlyweds and just put my hand over Nick [Lachey] ...
From Howard Stern Show on November 4, 2009
 
Also See: Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Jason Segel (Jason):... you got to know all the tricks, like for example, if the woman is on top, she can't get pregnant, its just gravity ...
Jonah Hill (Johah):... well, that's true, eveybody knows that ...
Jason Segel:... what goes up must come down ...
From Knocked Up
 
Also See: Movie Quotes Pregnant Quotes Sex Quotes
 

 
Steve Buscemi (Nucky Thompson):... first rule of politics, kid, never let the truth get in the way of a good story ...
From Boardwalk Empire
 
Also See: Political Quotes
 

 
Alec Baldwin (Jack Donaghy):... you're a pilot, I should pick your brain, I'm developing a daytime talk show with Sully Sullenberger ...
Matt Damon (Carol):... dammit that guy, he's not that great ... know what a great pilot would have done, not hit the birds, that's what I do every day, not hit birds, where's my ticket to the Grammys ...
From 30 Rock
 
Also See: Music Quotes Talk Show Quotes
 

 
Russell Crowe (John Nash):... despite my priveledged upbringing, I'm actually well balanced, I have a chip on both shoulders ...
From A Beautiful Mind
 
Also See: Movie Quotes
 

 
Maggie Smith (Violet Crawley):... what am I sitting on?
Dan Stevens (Matthew Crawley):... ah, swivel, chair ...
Maggie Smith:... uh, another modern brain wave?
Dan Stevens:... not very modern, they were invented by Thomas Jefferson ...
Maggie Smith:... why does every day involve a fight with an American?
From Downton Abbey
 

 
Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin):... see Peter, a hangover is nature's way of telling you that I'm right ...
From Family Guy
 
Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Lois Griffin Quotes
 

 





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