| Dane Cook: |
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... I want venom ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Dane Cook: |
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... that would be great if that was a real cereal ... start your day off the holy way with Christ Chex ... its a miracle in a bowl ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Also See: Food Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I would love to have acidy spit ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Dane Cook: |
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... just grab a bowl [of Eucharists] and run home, add milk, like, you know ... eat it like Christ Chex ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Also See: Food Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I went to the dmv, or as I like to call it, Satan's ***hole ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I wish I were a snake ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I can't wait to get Nick's [DiPaolo's] new comedy album, its called stop me if you heard this in junior high school ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Retaliation Quotes School Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I'm going to hell, ahhhhh ... but you're laughing, so you're coming ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Dane Cook: |
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... here's how you know, that you're really drunk ... I figured it out ... when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
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| Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Colin Quinn ladies and gentlemen, Colin Quinn ... Colin, you started off your career on the game show Remote Control, isn't it, yeah ... yeah, isn't it, isn't it ironic that that's what most of America reaches for when your new show is on ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Retaliation Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... lot of Boston guys here tonight, Denis [Leary], we've got Lenny Clarke, we've got Nick [DiPaolo], Mario [Cantone], who knew Red Sox's curse affected comedians' careers ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Baseball Quotes Boston Red Sox Quotes Retaliation Quotes Sports Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Kiefer Sutherland, how you doing, how you doing, good to see you ... I've got a, I've got a great plot idea for your show this coming season, you've got 24 hours to resurrect your film career ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
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| Also See: Movie Quotes Retaliation Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... I don't like when juice wears tights, its a horrible combination when juce wears tights ... |
| From Harmful If Swallowed
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| Also See: Food Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Slip 'N Slide, yeah ... it would have been fun if Dad checked for rocks before he put it down ... Slip 'N Bleed From the Anus they should have called this ride ... |
| From Harmful If Swallowed
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| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes |
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| Dane Cook: |
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... Jesus Christ, Timmy ... don't float above me when I am dying in the abyss ... |
| From Harmful If Swallowed
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