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Logan.WS / Quotes / Friends

Friends Quotes

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Funny and Memorable Quotes
500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Friends is a TV sitcom about the lives of a bunch of friends. The show lasted 10 years starting in 1994 but seen repeated often on many channels. The stars of Friends are Jennifer Aniston who plays Rachel Green, Courteney Cox who plays Monica Geller, Lisa Kudrow who plays Phoebe Buffay, Matt LeBlanc who plays Joey Tribbiani, Matthew Perry who plays Chandler Bing, and David Schwimmer who plays Dr. Ross Geller.

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Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... wow, it is like porno for clowns ...
From Friends

Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): ... you know if we were in prison right now, you both be like my bitches ...
From Friends

Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... Ross can take care of himself, it's not like he is Chandler ...
Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... thanks ...
From Friends

Courteney Cox (Monica Geller): ... come on, Rach, when a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call ... this never happened to you?
Jennifer Aniston (Rachel Green): ... they always call ...
Courteney Cox: ... bite me ...
From Friends
Also See: Relationship Quotes

Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... you're telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didn't want you back?
Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... yeah ... oh my God, is this what it's like to be you?
From Friends

Courteney Cox (Monica Geller): ... when I was younger all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but nooo, it was to be looked at but never played with ...
Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... my grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me ...
From Friends

Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... you knew this?
Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... knowledge is a tricky thing ...
From Friends

Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): ... ooh, you got the bigger half [of the wishbone], what did you wish for?
Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... the bigger half ...
From Friends
Also See: Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes

Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... who was that?
Jennifer Aniston (Rachel Green): ... the pizza place ...
Matt LeBlanc: ... you hung up with the pizza place, do I hang up on your friends?
From Friends
Also See: Friendship Quotes

Courteney Cox (Monica Geller): ... you were so hard up you practically came on to me ...
Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): ... you wish ...
From Friends

Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... where's that turkey?
Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): ... hey, those are my maturnity pants ...
Matt LeBlanc: ... nah nah, these are my Thanksgiving pants ...
From Friends
Also See: Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Pregnant Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes

Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): ... a stripper at a bachelor party is so cliche, why don't you get a magician ...
Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... well, if the magician can open my beer bottle with his butt cheeks, then ok ...
From Friends
Also See: Drug Quotes

Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... hey Ross, I am totally on your side about the honesty thing, just not with anything that is going to get you in trouble ...
From Friends

David Schwimmer (Dr. Ross Geller): ... I am just going to go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian girlfriend ...
Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... to hell with hockey, lets all do that ...
From Friends
Also See: Hockey Quotes Relationship Quotes Sports Quotes

Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... they want me to be totally naked in this ...
Courteney Cox (Monica Geller): ... wow ...
Matt LeBlanc: ... I know, my grandma is going to see this ...
Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay): ... your grandma is going to have to get in line ...
From Friends

Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): ... hurry, I can't feel my ears ...
Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... can you ever feel your ears?
Matt LeBlanc: ... interesting ...
From Friends

Jennifer Aniston (Rachel Green): ... and hey, just so you know, it isn't that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal ...
Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing): ... I knew it ...
From Friends
Also See: Break Up Quotes

Jennifer Aniston (Rachel): ... it's unisex ...
Matt LeBlanc (Joey): ... maybe you need sex, but I just had sex last night ...
Jennifer Aniston: ... no, U N I sex ...
Matt LeBlanc: ... how YOU doing ...
From Friends
Also See: Sex Quotes

David Schwimmer (Ross): ... I know, when I am 90 she will be 80 and it won't be a big deal ...
Matt LeBlanc (Joey): ... no, that wasn't what I was going to say at all, when you are 90, you will still have the memory of when you were with a 20 year old ...
From Friends

Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe): ... if I kept it, it would be like stealing ...
Jennifer Aniston (Rachel): ... yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping ...
From Friends

Matt LeBlanc (Joey): ... I thought since you wrote Ema a song, I would use one of my talents for her ...
Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe): ... you are going to hit on her?
From Friends
Also See: Music Quotes

Matt LeBlanc (Joey): ... it's a moo point ...
Jennifer Aniston (Rachel): ... you mean a moot point ...
Matt LeBlanc: ... no no, a moo point ... like a cows opinion, doesn't matter ... it's moo ...
From Friends

Matt LeBlanc (Joey): ... that's right, I stepped up ... she is my friend and needed help ... if I had to, I would pee on any one of you ...
From Friends
Also See: Friendship Quotes

Courteney Cox (Monica): ... the camera adds about 10 pounds ...
Matthew Perry (Chandler): ... how many cameras are on you?
From Friends

Matt LeBlanc (Joey): ... heads or tails, heads is ducks because ducks have heads and tails is clowns ...
Matthew Perry (Chandler): ... what kind of scary a** clowns went to your birthday parties?
From Friends
Also See: Birthday Quotes Scary Quotes

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Quoted People:
Adam Sandler Artie Lange Brad Pitt Catman Cohen
Chris Farley Chris Rock Christian Bale Dane Cook
Daniel Tosh David Spade Ellen Pompeo Emo Philips
Evan Esar Heath Ledger Homer Simpson Howard Stern
Johnny Depp Kristen Stewart Lisa Lampanelli
 Martin Luther King, Jr
Matt LeBlanc Mitch Hedberg Oprah Winfrey Paris Hilton
Rachael Ray Sandra Oh Steven Wright Stewie Griffin
Tracy Morgan Vince Vaughn Will Ferrell Will Smith
 William Shakespeare

Quote Sources:
 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Anchorman Bible Big Daddy
Black Sheep Blues Brothers Crossword Puzzles
 Dane Cook's Harmful If Swallowed
 Dane Cook's Retaliation
 Everybody Loves Raymond
Family Guy
Friends Game of Thrones
 The Godfather
 Good Will Hunting
Grey's Anatomy Harry Potter
 Howard Stern Show
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 Late Night with Conan O'Brien
The Notebook Old School
One Tree Hill PCU
 Pirates of the Caribbean
 Sex and the City
Simpsons SNL Talladega Nights
Tommy Boy Tonight Show Twilight Wedding Crashers

500 Funny and Memorable Quotes
Funny and Memorable Quotes:
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