| Kevin James (Larry Valentine): |
|
... we're marrying each other ... |
| Rob Schneider (Asian Minister): |
|
... gay, civil or religious? |
| Adam Sandler (Chuck Levine): |
|
... religious ... I'm Jewish, I don't want to piss my mother off ... |
| Kevin James: |
|
... I'm Catholic, I don't want to piss Mel Gibson off ... |
| From I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Movie Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Craig Ferguson: |
|
... my Father's mother was Irish, so I feel that St Patrick's Day is a day that I can ignore ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
|
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| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Holiday Quotes Irish Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Naomi Watts: |
|
... [having 2 children] I feel like I have lost a good 75% of my brain power ... and really, I'm not joking ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... 75% ... |
| Naomi Watts: |
|
... I say it halves itself and halved itself again, it is, I call it, it's not just the sleep deprivation, it is the breast feeding, I call it the lactose lobotomy ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on February 9, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Food Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Roseanne: |
|
... nobody should be alone on Thanksgiving, except maybe Mom ... |
| From Roseanne
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Holiday Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... well you're Jewish ... |
| Eli Roth: |
|
... yes ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... it must have been a thrill, what did your parents think about [being in Inglorious Bastards]? |
| Eli Roth: |
|
... uh, well my parents, my parents were very proud, they always see their boy grow up to kill Nazis, is something they always dreamed of ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Father Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you know the day I met my mother, I weighed 7 and 1/2 lbs ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... you gained a little weight since then ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... since I met my mother, I have put on 293 and 1/2 lbs ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on March 3, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Dennis Quaid (Doc Holiday): |
|
... my Mama always said don't put off til tomorrow who you can kill today ... |
| From Wyatt Earp
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Kate Hudson (Alexis): |
|
... my parents hate you ... |
| Dane Cook (Tank): |
|
... but, they'll come around ... except your mother ... and your dad ... |
| From My Best Friend's Girl
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Robin Quivers: |
|
... Britney spears has lost custody of her children ... |
| Howard Stern: |
|
... you know how bad a mother you have to be to lose custody of your children ... OJ has custody of his children ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on October 2, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Adam Sandler (Bobby): |
|
... Mama says that, alligators are onry cause they got all them teeth, but no toothbrush ... |
| From The Waterboy
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... Mom and Dad's lives could be in jeopardy, or worse, their marriage ... |
| Spencer Fox (Dash Parr): |
|
... their marriage ... so, the bad guys are trying to wreck Mom and Dad's marriage? |
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... oh forget it, you're so immature ... |
| From The Incredibles
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Life Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): |
|
... if Tyra Banks drove her car over my Mom and then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off ... |
| From Scrubs
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Adam Sandler (Bobby Boucher): |
|
... Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue ... |
| From The Waterboy
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Ellen Page (Juno): |
|
... she [Juno's Mom] lives on a Havasee reservation in Arizona with her new husband and 3 replacement kids ... oh and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day, and I'm like, thanks a heap Coyote Ugly, your cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment ... |
| From Juno
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Holiday Quotes Movie Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| Harvey Keitel (Lt. Gene Hunt): |
|
... you're here to make me curse the day my Father's sperm asked my Mama's egg if he could have this dance ... |
| From Life on Mars
on October 9, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Bernie Mac: |
|
... if their mama's fat, you got to say something like, your mama's so fat I poured a half a cup of water in a bathtub and when she sat down, it overflowed ... |
| From The Bernie Mac Show
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes |
|
| Evan Esar: |
|
Father's Day and Mother's Day are alike, except that on Father's Day you buy a much cheaper gift. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Family Quotes Father Quotes Father's Day Quotes Holiday Quotes |
|
| Ray Romano (Ray Barone): |
|
... Ally, you have to do what Mommy says ... |
| Madylin Sweeten (Ally Barone): |
|
... why? |
| Ray Romano: |
|
... because I do ... |
| From Everybody Loves Raymond
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes |
|
| Denis Leary (Gus): |
|
... what the hell is wrong with you, I thought moms were supposed to be nice and sweet and patient ... I know more loan sharks that are more forgiving than you ... your husband ain't dead lady, he is hiding ... |
| From The Ref
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Kelly Preston (Josie Stronghold): |
|
... you hungry, I've got plenty of, eggs, bacon ... |
| Danielle Panabaker (Layla Williams): |
|
... no thanks, you know how my mom can communicate with animals, apparently they don't like being eaten ... |
| From Sky High
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Food Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Jack Handey: |
|
... I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey ... Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey ... we had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine ... later on I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom to thank them and I caught them eating a little turkey ... I guess that really wasn't the best Thanksgiving ... |
| From SNL (Saturday Night Live)
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes |
