| Mitch Hedberg: |
|
... you know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show ... |
| From Unknown |
|
| Steven Wright: |
|
... I was walking through the forest and a tree fell right in front of me and I didn't hear it ... |
| From Unknown |
|
| Gregg Rogell: |
|
... if you are attacking America and you hit North Dakota ... face it, you've missed ... |
| From The Comedy Cellar |
|
| Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey): |
|
... I guess we're adults ... the question is, when did that happen, and how do we make it stop ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy |
|
| Jessica Walter (President Garcia-Thompson): |
|
... you passed out cigarrettes for a smoke a thon on earth day, you installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramps, and most recently you dumped a 100 lbs of, meat, on a peaceful vegan protest ... |
| Jeremy Piven (Droz): |
|
... O come on, that was way more than 100 lbs ... |
| From PCU |
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Evan Esar: |
|
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. |
| From Crossword Puzzle |
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Mother Quotes Sister Quotes |
|
| Stewie Griffin: |
|
... damn you vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb ... |
| From Family Guy |
|
| Chris Farley (Tommy): |
|
... I'll tell you what, you can take a good look at a butcher's a** by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it? |
| Auto Store Manager: |
|
... what, I am having trouble making the connection here ... |
| Chris Farley: |
|
... no, I mean you can take a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's a**, but then ... no, it's got to be your bull ... |
| David Spade (Richard): |
|
... wow ... |
| From Tommy Boy |
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Stephen King: |
|
... some people say I must be a horrible person ... that's not true, I have the heart of a young boy ... on my desk ... |
| From Unknown |
| |
| Also See: Scary Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... If somebody calls and messes with you on the phone like that you don't become terrified, you mess back ... If somebody calls and was like "have you checked the children?" I'd be like "I killed them!" |
| From Unknown |
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes |
